You may have seen this week's cover story, which is Cheap Bastard's Guide to Being a Cheap Bastard in Dallas. If you read it, or are familiar with CB in anyway, you know that she has a black belt in Boobeuphemismskata. In honor of Bastard-y phrases like "your freezer will be so happy it'll give you a blowjay" and "sushi boom," we've built a sentence generator where you can Cheap Bastardize anything. Anything.

All you have to do is go to the generator, type in a food, click "like" or "dislike" and the Bastard magic outputs a sentence. Enjoy.

• Cheap Bastard