Keep Dallas Observer Free

The McRib Hacked: Five Ways to Enhance the McRib

Just last month we got word of the McRib's long-awaited return, beginning in a blessed few locations -- trackable online with the McRib locator -- and finally reaching its ribby fingers nationwide today, Election Day, appropriately enough. Whether or not you're swayed by Mayor McCheese's latest sex scandal, you may still elect to ingest a sauce-slathered rib-like slab of processed meat.

Term limits are in full effect for the McRib's return, though, and after about six weeks it'll be gone. To help you make the most of this rare opportunity, we're offering a City of Ate guide to enjoying the legendary McDonald's specialty, even if you can't stand to eat another one.

Not included here: McRibbles, perhaps the greatest hoax of the year so far, nor have we included the novelty meat condom -- "McRibbed For Her Pleasure" -- popular as the notion was around the office. After the jump, we've got five McRib possibilities to get your creative juices flowing. If you have other ideas, let us know in the comments. You can even use the plain McRib pictured above to help illustrate them.

The McRib Double Down
Holding this in your hands will quite possibly the most nauseating thing you ever do.

The McRib Belt Buckle
Impress your friends and stray animals with this sturdy meat accessory. Better than the biggest rodeo champion's buckle, wear this around and you'll always look like a winner.

The McRib Autopsy
Next time your kids ask what part of the animal the McRib comes from, slice open their favorite stuffed animal and show them once and for all.

The McRib Wallet
Where form meets function meets meat, this smart McRib billfold is perfect for organizing your credit cards and important personal contacts.

The McRibShake
The elusive fourth flavor of the McDonald's milkshake, it's extra thick 'n' hearty. It's the shake that drinks like a meal.

I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Dallas and help keep the future of Dallas Observer free.

Keep the Dallas Observer Free... Since we started the Dallas Observer, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Dallas, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Dallas with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the Observer community and help support independent local journalism in Dallas.


Join the Observer community and help support independent local journalism in Dallas.