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The McRib Hacked: Five Ways to Enhance the McRib

Just last month we got word of the McRib's long-awaited return, beginning in a blessed few locations -- trackable online with the McRib locator -- and finally reaching its ribby fingers nationwide today, Election Day, appropriately enough. Whether or not you're swayed by Mayor McCheese's latest sex scandal, you may still elect to ingest a sauce-slathered rib-like slab of processed meat.

Term limits are in full effect for the McRib's return, though, and after about six weeks it'll be gone. To help you make the most of this rare opportunity, we're offering a City of Ate guide to enjoying the legendary McDonald's specialty, even if you can't stand to eat another one.

Not included here: McRibbles, perhaps the greatest hoax of the year so far, nor have we included the novelty meat condom -- "McRibbed For Her Pleasure" -- popular as the notion was around the office. After the jump, we've got five McRib possibilities to get your creative juices flowing. If you have other ideas, let us know in the comments. You can even use the plain McRib pictured above to help illustrate them.

The McRib Double Down
Holding this in your hands will quite possibly the most nauseating thing you ever do.

The McRib Belt Buckle
Impress your friends and stray animals with this sturdy meat accessory. Better than the biggest rodeo champion's buckle, wear this around and you'll always look like a winner.

The McRib Autopsy
Next time your kids ask what part of the animal the McRib comes from, slice open their favorite stuffed animal and show them once and for all.

The McRib Wallet
Where form meets function meets meat, this smart McRib billfold is perfect for organizing your credit cards and important personal contacts.

The McRibShake
The elusive fourth flavor of the McDonald's milkshake, it's extra thick 'n' hearty. It's the shake that drinks like a meal.

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