The Rangers have been a drink-worthy team ever since their inception. For 35 years, they've induced summers of binge-drinking to drown out varying degrees of sorrow. The last two seasons, on the other hand, have made us raise our glasses to cheer on our suddenly sweet swinging club.
So in the spirit of booze-soaked baseball, grab your booze of choice (yes, Josh, ginger ale will do) and drink to your choice of these in-game cues:
-Fox shows a shot of either the Arch during away games or a cow during home games
-Beltre fouls a ball off of any body part. Double-chug if said body part is the catcher's coin purse
-Joe Buck pronounces Elvis' last name "Ahhhn-drus"
-Whenever you want to forget that you'll never be as kickass as CJ Wilson
-That god-awful earmite "Written in the Stars" song comes on during promos
-Nelson Cruz makes a baseball explode
-There's a highlight involving running-in-place Wash, during which you must also run in place before pounding your drink
-If you want to get blacked out, take a slug every time Tony LaRussa makes a pitching change or sacrifice bunts
As a fun bonus game, make a conversational reference to a random pre-good-Rangers player like Warren Newson. If the person you're with gives you a non-knowing "Yeah, heh, totally," then you take a drink. If the person replies with something like "Fuck yeah The Deacon!!" buy him a drink.
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If you can't come up with a place to enjoy the game, harken back to one of the bars Lauren wrote about last week. We'll be right there with you, waiting for someone to make a Warren Newson reference.