Complaint Desk

This Super Bowl Sunday, Just Say No To Chicken Wing Delivery

The Super Bowl is coming, which means everyone must think about, write about, talk about and prepare for the egregious consumption of chicken wings. It's a damn shame because most of the wings consumed during the big game will totally blow.

I blame these guys for fucking up chicken wings forever. The National Chicken Council blasts out a report every year correlating the Super Bowl with increased wing consumption, and then news outlets run with story after story that only increases the chicken-wing fervor. And since wings can be a pain to make, and most people like to watch the game at home, delivered wings will comprise the majority of the chicken appendages that are consumed this Sunday.

Which is sad because, in food-expert technical culinary parlance, delivered wings suck.

Pizza places and wing chains typically under-fry their products so they never really crisp up. Delivery methods only make matters worse, since sealed, steamy containers make the skin squishy, and heat not meant for blue cheese dressing yields a warm puddle of unappetizing goo. It's gross. Don't eat them.

Either go out to a bar and get bombed with your wings or cook them at home. It's necessary. There are 745,000 recipes for cooking wings at home, and if you don't like deep frying, you can bake them, which you shouldn't because deep frying is delicious and let's be honest you already blew up your New Year's resolution anyway.

My top recipe pick? This one. I've got Korean fried chicken on the brain and that recipe looks like a damn good one.

KEEP THE DALLAS OBSERVER FREE... Since we started the Dallas Observer, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Dallas, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Scott Reitz
Contact: Scott Reitz