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Top 10 Super Bowl Commercials Starring Food

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4. Bud Light "Weego" This spot teaches us to rescue dogs so they can become our slaves, bringing us beer on command. Welcome to the future! Okay, actually the dog that plays "Weego" is totally adorable and clearly very well trained. Good dog.

3. Fiat 500 Abarth "Seduction" Um, I'm pretty sure this spot had a cappuccino in it, so it counts. And that chick speaking Italian beats J-Lo yapping about the block or whatever -- hands down. Cold shower says what!? And THAT is how you do a sex-driven spot, idiot bastards at Go Daddy. Now, I'm going to need a strong cappuccino. ASAP.

2. Chevy Silverado - "End of the World" So I'm picking this for the last-second Twinkie mention. Yep. And it's a funny joke. Because everybody knows that when the world ends, only Twinkies and Miracle Whip and Michael Jackson's heavily-preserved carcass will survive.

1. Budweiser "Eternal Optimism" Because Prohibition-era drinking is SO hot right now. Right, Chesterfield, People's Last Stand, Tate's and Cedars Social? This spot was my favorite, and I'm not even a beer fan. But what I am is a sucker for both optimism and awesome music mashups (shout out to Glee). This one mashed "She Sells Sanctuary" by the Cult with "Good Feeling" by Flo Rida (not to be confused with Ore-Ida).

$425 million later, does anybody even care who won the game? Whatever, I'm hungry.

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