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Top 25 Food-Related Quotes Of The Past Decade

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10 Russell Hodges
"These are the last days. In the last days, you will see a chipotle barbecued Peruvian potato. That's in the Bible."

Prophet--and also chef--Hodges ran the kitchen at Iris when he declared our doom, well ahead of those 2012 folks. Not to take him literally, but his point was more about pushing fusion beyond the limits.

9 Gilbert Garza
"It may be worth it, but it depends on what you're going to do with the butter."

Let's see...there's cooking with it, spreading it on biscuits. What else? The chef, by the way, was talking about expensive brands.

8 Marc Cassel
"I've worked in many kitchens where it's been just sports and dick jokes. It's hard to defend our gender sometimes."

This was from the days when people crowded into Cassel's Green Room, addressing the reason why there are more male chefs.

7 Sharon Hage
"Isn't it better to eat really good bologna than really bad steak?"
Don't remember what York Street's chef was speaking about, but right on.


6 Bob Sambol
"You want to see some pink."

Yes, he was speaking about steak. Just fun to take it out of context.

5 Aaron Staudenmaier
"I like places where my expectations are zero."

This from a chef who, at the time, ran operations at Jasper's for Kent Rathbun.

4 Joel Harloff
"It's like a big bucket of snakes. They're slippery and slimy and round. You have to have a good knife and a lot of patience."

He said this when working as chef for Mi Piaci, so it's going back some. What was he talking about? Killing and skinning eels, of course.

3 Mari Woodlief
"It's a big, solid piece of metal that comes between you and your food."

The political adviser took a moment to share her opinion of spoons back in October of 2000, when the decade was young.

2 Nick Badovinus
"Based on experience, bacon fat will render at 98.6 with a little friction."
Really, you don't want to pry further.

1 Marc Cassel
"You can fry a turd and it tastes good."

Again, you don't want to know more. But over a decade of showy opulence, hard door clubs, big steakhouses, economic collapse, comfort food and small neighborhood joints, this is the number one comment.

Congrats chef.

And we'll end with something I wrote--don't know why--back in February of 2003:


They say history proves again and again how nature points out the folly of men.

In this case, "they" are Blue Oyster Cult, a band from the days of open shirts and infinite hair. We're not certain whether they are the "they" mentioned in all the other "they say" references, such as "they say it causes blindness," but they are definitely the "they" who warned us of the potential for great frustration when men step outside their league.

This week's Burning Question, you see, exposes man's fascination with the unattainable. As children, we learn that achievement comes through effort. Everyone, wrote English author Samuel Butler, "can in the end get what he wants if he only tries." But like Tom Hanks waving bye-bye to the moon or Columbus tumbling off the edge of the earth, we eventually discover--Butler's words, again--that every individual is more or less an exception to that rule. In other words, The Little Engine That Could is just a damned lie that perpetuates class...must calm down...In other words, all the striving in the world, the quest for success or glory, generally nets you only a cubicle in a room of cubicles in a building of rooms.

Be that as it may, we beat on.

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Dave Faries
Contact: Dave Faries

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