Top Chef Seattle: Valentine Hearts Hats, Plus a Drinking Game for Next Week

The best thing about the Top Chef chefs being in Alaska is that Josh Valentine gets to wear even more hats! He wore three hats in this episode. You think that's uninteresting, and that nobody gives any of their shits about what he's wearing? I completely agree. And it's still somehow more interesting than what happened on this week's episode of Top Chef: Seattle.

So, instead of going through a scene-by-scene recap of the episode, let me just say this: Valentine didn't go home! We hope he wins this shit!

Now, let's focus on the future. Introducing the Top Chef Seattle Episode Before the Season Finale Episode Drinking Game:

Every time Padmaboobz makes a stinkface while eating food, you drink.

Every time you catch Colicchio looking like he might be farting, drink.

You hear these words, you drink: "elevated," "this is my take on," "compote," "foam," "reduction," "least favorite dishes," "family," "Valentine," "the beautiful Gail Simmons," "pack your knives and go."

If Valentine wins a challenge with a dish that includes bacon, drink.

If Valentine doesn't say something snarky in a scene, drink.

When they do that dumbass close-up of each contestant looking all angry, right before the judges judge them, chug.

Hopefully next week's episode will be more interesting. But if it's not, at least you'll be hammered. You're welcome.

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