Cheap Bastard

Torchy's Tacos: Get There Quick, Before We Eat Them All

Hiding behind the Potbelly at Preston Road and Forest Lane is a delicious little slice of hell. And at this time, Torchy's, I'd like to reserve myself a permanent table. Straight outta Austin, this taqueria is here to blow your mind-eria.

I paid between $3.25 and $3.75 per taco, which sounds like a lot, but these things were so filled to the taco brim with goodness that you only need to eat two. I hear you fat fucks, "Two?? Only two tacos?" Obviously, feel free to order more. I'm just saying that if you do order two tacos here, you'll be filled up.

The ingredients lists of some of these suckers will give you a better picture of how much taco action you're really gonna get: Green chili pork taco is slow-roasted pork carnitas simmered with green chilies, queso fresco, cilantro, onions. The fried avocado taco comes with the obvious fried avocado, vegetarian refried beans, lettuce, pico and cheese, plus poblano ranch sauce. The Trailer Park comes filled with fried chicken, green chilies, lettuce, pico and cheese with poblano ranch sauce. (Or order it "trashy" and get queso instead of lettuce. Now you're talkin' my language, Torchy's.) And finally, the taco that I'll be eating here every day until the day I die: The Brushfire. Is it spicy? Yup. Are you a total pussy if you're from Texas and you can't take down at least one of these bad boys? Yup. The Brushfire is Jamaican jerk chicken (oh crap), grilled jalapeños (holy awesome), mango (what? you totally came outta nowhere with the mango, and it's amazing in my face hole), sour cream (to help cool off the wusses) and cilantro with diablo sauce (fire-roasted habanero chilies blended with vinegar, spices and tomato, made just hot enough that you'll cry a single tear and you'll get that warm tingle in your stomach that says, "Prepare for third-degree heartburn").

To drink, pick from a soda fountain selection of Boylan bevs including root beer, black cherry and cream soda. (This way, you rot your teeth at approximately the same rate that your insides are being demolished.) Or you can keep it classy with a Dublin Dr Pepper. Sweet tooth: owned.

In short, Torchy's is the shit. (The awesome shit, not the shitty shit.)

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Alice Laussade writes about food, kids, music, and anything else she finds to be completely ridiculous. She created and hosts the Dallas event, Meat Fight, which is a barbecue competition and fundraiser that benefits the National MS Society. Last year, the event raised $100,000 for people living with MS, and 750 people could be seen shoving sausage links into their faces. And one time, she won a James Beard Award for Humor in Writing. That was pretty cool.
Contact: Alice Laussade

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