It's here! Fried Christmas!!! That delicious waft of funnel cake + corny dog + world's biggest Frito pie + horse-ish ladyman stank you'll get when you walk through the turnstiles at the fair is gonna hit you like a Lisa Frank double food rainbow. And you will love it.
See also: Fried Jambalaya, Fried Bacon Cinnamon Roll Win Big at State Fair The Food of the State Fair of Texas, In Photos
The State Fair of Texas is all the things. It's weird. It's fun. It's expensive. It's got shitty parking. It's got a Midway and tamale balls! It has kids screaming their smiling faces off on rides that move at a breakneck speed of 2 entire miles per hour. And they're even going to have a glow-in-the-dark Chinese lantern light show festival thing?! Plus fried red velvet cupcakes?! Hell. Yes. Texas, you are ridiculously glorious.
There is no shortage of fried food options at the Great State Fair of Texas. So, we've created a fried food map that'll help guide you from fried chocolate-covered strawberry waffle balls to fried picnic on a stick. If you try every food on the list, congratulations, and we're sorry.
Let's start with the fried food items that were finalists in this year's Big Tex Choice Awards. The line for these foods will be longer, so have a friend stand in line while you go seek out the fried Kit Kats:
Big Tex Choice Awards:
BEST TASTE WINNER: Deep-Fried Jambalaya This one's from Abel Gonzales (aka Fried Butter and Fried Coke and Fried Cookie Batter Guy), so it's definitely one to try. Dude has a history of knowing what the heck he's doing at a fryer. His fried jambalaya is shrimp and Cajun sausage coated in lightly seasoned flour and FRIED. FRY IT!! Served with a side of spicy ranch sauce.
MOST CREATIVE WINNER: Fried Bacon Cinnamon Roll A cinnamon roll dipped in a special sweet pancake batter, roll that in crispy FRIED BACON BACON BACON FRIED BACON AHMAHGAD FRIED BACON crumbles, then throw that in a fryer and FRY IT and then sprinkle it with powdered sugar. One bite is delicious, but it's also enough. Share this one.
BTCA Finalists
Chicken-Fried Cactus Bites When we tried this at the awards, it was pretty Slimer from Ghostbusters slimy. Served with a combination of sweet and spicy secret jalapeño ranch (it tells the sweetest secrets, you guys) and agave nectar dipping sauce.
Deep-Fried Divine Chocolate Tres Leches Cake A slice of chocolate tres leches cake soaked in buttermilk batter, and FUH. RIED, YOU GUYS. A light sprinkle of cinnamon, topped with whipped cream, fresh strawberry slices and peaches are drizzled with a yummy syrup. Blam. It's super sweet.