Food News

Which Food Trend Are You?

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Score: 5 to 6 You're Macaron! People always pronounce your name wrong, and you smell like happiness and rainbows. Behind your back, your friends say you wear too much pastel.

Score: 7 You're Foam! You get deflated super easily. People regularly tell you to stop drooling on their food. Also, Kent Rathbun hates you.

Score: 8 You're Cronut! You're absolutely right: Everyone is just jealous of you.

Score: 9 to 10 You're Squid Ink! Your presence is a visual crap on every pretty thing you're around. But, people feel cooler for knowing you.

Score: 11 to 12 You're Sriracha! You take over every conversation about food that you're in. People love you or hate you. Either way, they all call you a cock to your face.

Score: 13 You're Locally Sourced! You're responsible. You always make your friends feel good about themselves. And sometimes you're a major pain in the ass to find. Answer your goddamned phone.

Score: 14 You're Umami! Everybody says they love you, but only one or two people really know who the fuck you actually are.

Score: 15 You're a Wendy's Pretzel Bun! Nobody wants you. You drink too much whiskey. Change your underwear and call your mother.

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Alice Laussade writes about food, kids, music, and anything else she finds to be completely ridiculous. She created and hosts the Dallas event, Meat Fight, which is a barbecue competition and fundraiser that benefits the National MS Society. Last year, the event raised $100,000 for people living with MS, and 750 people could be seen shoving sausage links into their faces. And one time, she won a James Beard Award for Humor in Writing. That was pretty cool.
Contact: Alice Laussade

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