Earth (the Planet) Now Has a Stuffed Crust

Sniff. We'll miss you.
Sniff. We'll miss you.
Scott Reitz

Just like everything Pizza Hut makes, Planet Earth now comes with a stuffed crust, after 300,000-plus wheels of gorgeous and delicious Parmesan and Grana Padano cheese were lost in a 6.0 Earthquake this past weekend.

Last year, we watched Scardello crack a 90-pound wheel of Parmesan-Reggiano, the all-omnipotent King of Cheeses, and it was pretty close to a religious moment. There might have been some weeping and doves. Parmesan-Reggiano is the spectacular result of dedication and care -- so, the spillage of 250 million Euros worth of cheese is a goddamn tragedy for us all. I need a moment.

OK. Now, we're left to imagine whole wheels of Parmesan falling into smoking cracks in the earth. Add some intense global warming and plate tectonics, we could be looking at Italy being fired into a giant, expensive pizza.

Mmm ... cheesy earth crust.

(h/t @patrickmichels)

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