Audio By Carbonatix
Having recently recovered from a post-Valentine’s Day hangover–induced by a mixture of bitter feelings toward the opposite sex and a sale at the discount liquor store–we decided this year will be different. Call it a Valentine’s Day resolution: Come February 2004, we will rejoice at the sight of foil-wrapped chocolates, conversation hearts and misshapen teddy bears that warble “I wuv you.” In other words, a new lease on love will rob us of all sense of good taste and human decency.
Valentine’s folderol aside, stepping back to reassess a “relationship,” a.k.a. “constant bickering and paranoia,” can be a difficult thing. As Marilyn Graman, author of There is NO PRINCE and Other Truths Your Mother Never Told You, asserts, men and women’s behaviors were formed in cave times and haven’t changed much since then. (As you may have noticed by your boyfriend’s slovenly habits and proclivity for grunting.) The book, subtitled A Guide to Having the Relationship You Want, is geared toward “any woman who doesn’t want her heart broken again.” Ruling out, then, emotional masochists, Graman and co-author Maureen Walsh suggest that every woman has the ability to have a successful relationship.
As cynics, we did our level best to stifle an eye-roll and instead read the book. The source of the problem, Graman says, lies in women’s unhealthy dating patterns and unrealistic expectations of the men they date. “It is important to understand that what is in your life is here because you have chosen it,” Graman writes. “Becoming aware that you are constantly making choices gives you your power back.” While we heartily concur that no man is a prince, it was a little more difficult to get on board with the fact that we’re not princesses. We’re not quite ready to surrender the fantasy.
