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Kung Fu Panda 2 opened yesterday, just in time for the big box office Memorial Day weekend. The sequel to the charming martial arts cartoon will no doubt do massive ticket sales, but it won’t be the first time an Asianploitation picture cleans up at the movies. Asian culture has long been exploited for profit in Western films, and for every applauded outcome, like The Joy Luck Club, there’s more than a handful of the questionable results, like The Last Samurai. As Seth Meyers would put it, “Really? There’s one samurai left in the world, and it’s Tom Cruise! Really?!”
Although there have been a few high points for Asians in film, as the brief history of Asianploitation below shows, the lows are far more numerous. It’s going to take more than a fat-Jack-Black panda to reverse the damage Tinseltown has done.
7. Mickey Rooney as Mr. Yunioshi in Breakfast at Tiffany’s
Who could forget Rooney’s Coke-bottle glasses, buckteeth and terrible mannerisms? This image represented Hollywood’s attitude towards Asians back in the 1960’s, and even the venerable New York Times approved, “Mickey Rooney’s bucktoothed, myopic Japanese is broadly exotic.” The negative portrayal would be castigated years later, but it was too little too late, as Mr. Yunioshi set off a chain reaction of stereotypical Asian depictions in media.
6. The Karate Kid I, II, III and Next
Granted, the revamp starring Fresh Prince’s spawn wasn’t as terrible as expected, but the original and its two sequels were pretty ridiculous. It’s laughable that Ralph Macchio or a pre-Million Dollar Baby Hillary Swank could kick serious ass, and don’t even get me started on why Elizabeth Shue would date the guy from My Cousin Vinny over the awesomely villainous Cobra Kai.
5. “Me Love You Long Time”
Yes, prostitution was rampant during the Vietnam War, but Full Metal Jacket gave it a catch phrase. That same phrase, along with its less euphemistic counterparts, would not only lead to a 2 Live Crew song, but more importantly, would stamp Asian females in media with the unshakeable label of being overly sexualized.
4. The Last Samurai
There is so much wrong with this movie. Tom Cruise as an alcoholic who heals himself by becoming a samurai. Check. Forbidden love between the white man and the sexualized Asian woman. Check. An egregious underutilization of the highly talented Ken Watanabe. Check.
3. Shaolin Soccer getting the shaft in its US release
This Stephen Chow comedic masterpiece was the most successful movie to come out of the Hong Kong powerhouse film machine, yet Americans couldn’t possibly have understood why once they saw the butchered US version in stateside theaters. After Miramax bought the US distribution rights, they would go on to cut substantial amounts of the film and the result would be a complete “lost in translation” moment in movie history.
2. Farewell My Concubine losing at the 1994 Academy Awards
The Palme d’Or at Cannes. Win. The BAFTA. Win. The Golden Globe for Best Foreign Film. Win. National Board of Review. Win. Oscar? Loss.
1. Big Trouble in Little China
Sigh. Do I even have to get into the reasons? It’s a movie about the mystical goings-on in a Chinatown, yet the leads are Kurt Russell and Kim Cattrall. As for the Asian casting, the innocent and precious green-eyed Chinese girl is portrayed by a Penthouse Pet of the Month. If that’s not enough to convince you this is the worst Asianploitation film, maybe this will do the trick:
