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10 Signs That Your Relationship Is Probably Over In Dallas

You're about to go on a date in Dallas. Things haven't been great lately, and you're not sure if this is the end or not.

Here are 10 signs that your Dallas relationship might be headed in the "it's over" direction.

10. You're on a date at Klyde Warren Park, and she keeps insisting that you go up into the tree house and close your eyes and count to 10 because "that's all the head start she needs."

9. He claims there's a House of Plates secret party in Addison and he will meet you there. The address he gives you is a Steak & Shake. "Steak & Shakes are hip now. I swear."

8. She sends you a box of Tiff's Treats with a note on them that says, "Happy birthday. It's over."

7. He puts beans in the chili.

6. He sings "Let's Stay Together" at Good Luck Karaoke, only he changes the lyrics to "Let's Not Stay Together" and makes direct eye contact with you the entire time. He's sober. Hammertimez does not interrupt him to make jokes.

5. She painted over all the work you did painting over the Forest Lane mural.

4. She got two un-get-able tickets to a Cafe Momentum dinner and didn't take you. Then Instagrammed pics of her making out with every course and tagged you.

3. He couldn't outrun the T-rex at the Perot Museum.

2. He takes you to Dickey's. Someone's getting dumped in this equation, but it's not you. If anyone invites you to Dickey's, it should be over. If it's not over, you need to take a serious look at your life choices. Snag a free cone on your way out the door to singledom.

1. She claims Reunion Tower just "looks like a big vibrator and the fact that it lights up all different colors now and spins just reinforces its dildo-ness." She may have a point, but that kind of mockery of local icons will not stand. It cannot stand. It mustn't stand.

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Alice Laussade writes about food, kids, music, and anything else she finds to be completely ridiculous. She created and hosts the Dallas event, Meat Fight, which is a barbecue competition and fundraiser that benefits the National MS Society. Last year, the event raised $100,000 for people living with MS, and 750 people could be seen shoving sausage links into their faces. And one time, she won a James Beard Award for Humor in Writing. That was pretty cool.
Contact: Alice Laussade