Air fists! Sweatband! Air fists! Neckerchief! Air fists! Now, ...exhale. Alright you cubicle captives, let's break these 9 to 5 chains and get destructive. We've got comedians we grew up loving and still adore (Bill Cosby); comedians we grew up loving and now feel uncomfortable around (Dennis Miller); Derby Girls covered in hot oil (happy birthday); art to feed that spot in your brain that still respects culture, and a crack team of dogs doing tricks to satisfy the other 95% of your cerebral space. Bring it on, weekend! We ain't scared! Be a good electronic pen pal and share this list with your besties. Also, click on the event titles for more details. Now, let's all slam dance.
Thursday 6.7 Five Buck Thursdays at TopGolf -- Every Thursday this summer, TopGolf makes it easier to swing those blues away with $5 street tacos, bombs and other fantastical alcohol concoctions. There's also a DJ, the help convert the work grind into the bump-n-grind.
As We Lie Still -- Remember how you always wanted to write a musical about an old-timey magician who falls in love with his assistant and then murders her? Well, you're too late; someone beat you to the punch.
Friday 6.8 Dennis Miller at Bass Hall -- He's always been arrogent and snarky, which is why we loved him on "SNL" and the "Dennis Miller Show," but these days it's unclear who his target legion is. If it's you, you're in luck: He's ranting Friday night in Fort Worth. Texas vs. the World Racing -- First off, I'd like to say that my money is on Texas. Here's a great excuse to drive outside city limits, drink beer and watch tricked out, alcohol-fueled Jr. Drag race cars push the pedal to the goddamn metal. Get southern y'all. REAL southern.
Kaguya-Hime at Crow Collection -- Unless a generous benefactor steps in to fund further performances, this weekend is your last chance to watch this breathtaking endeavor by the Dallas Neo-Classical Ballet, and where better to see it than the Crow? Based on Japanese folklore, our protagonist fell from the heavens. As her -- uh -- celestial body gets more bangin', every dude in the kingdom wants to woo her. There's even a special segment performed by the Danielle Georgiou Dance Group, just to make it more enticing. Saturday 6.9 Hot-N-Sweaty Show at Gallery 500X -- These guys throw a great party, and if you're looking for an unpretentious art show with lots of diversity then congratulations! You found it! This un-juried show brings everyone together, letting artists put up to three pieces on the gallery's many walls for one low installation fee, which creates a smorgasbord of styles and mediums. You're going to find something that excites you here.
Bill Cosby -- A hero of comedy, acting and sweaters performs stand-up Saturday night at the Winspear. What more do we have to say? He's the greatest. Ever.
Stunt Dog Experience -- Yeah, I know it's geared toward tykes, but these dogs could double as international spies! This rag tag group of rescues perform acrobatic feats that will remind you how lazy your own hound really is. Also, Strauss Square is now byob. Thermos of mimosas?
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The Belmont at Lone Star Park -- What if I'll Have Another goes all the way with the Triple Crown? You're going to want to be a part of it, so check it out as Lone Star Park simulcasts the race on the Jumbo Tron. Don't worry, they have booze.
"Hey, I'm Not That Guy" at Nouveau 47 -- This is an early one (5 to 6:30 p.m.), so ladies, if you've had a bad run of dudes lately check this out before embarking on the rest of your night's party plans. The hour and a half production is an assemblage of poems and short narratives about guys who aren't dicks, which might change your mindset and, in turn, get you laid tonight. It's pay-what-you-can, so if some roughneck just "borrowed" a little pocket money, it won't keep you from attending.
Sunday 6.10 Dallas Derby Devils Army of Darkness Derby Mania (Scorpions Motorcycle Club, 10750 Shiloh Road) -- Yes! In addition to being able to whip it on the rink, these gals can throw a helluva party. Sunday you'll see 'em grease down with hot oil and wrestle AND compete in a hotdog eating contest. Who's going to win? You are, sir. You are.
Monday 6.11 Mixmaster gets you cultured at Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson -- This musical dares ask the question: "What if Andrew Jackson, our 7th President, was an emo rocker in skinny jeans?" Get all sexy with your politics at this play, which this little blog is sponsoring. You might be able to go for free; RSVP at this link for a shot.