The week of Conan's Dallas reign has come to end. I'm so fucking sick of his creepy face. Yeah, I said it. Don't get me wrong, Conan's great. But he's taken over my life. I have people in my Facebook feed posting selfies with him or live Tweeting the whole show. The strange Cone Zone contraption has been camped out in front of my apartment all week. I get it, all you people really love Conan. You people worship his strange orange coiff. Whatever.
Anyway, Thursday was his final night in town and he got his first boos last night when he refused to refer to our fair city as "Dallas Fort Worth," calling it by the same name this publication chose: Dallas. He received a few more boos when he reminded his live audience that Thursday was in fact his final night in the city. But rather than talk more about Conan and all the stereotypes he used for jokes during his week here, let's talk about Charles Barkley instead.
Charles Barkley just wants Shaq to stop picking on him.
"The more successful you are, the more you should tip." "I've tipped 25,000 dollars before." "There's nobody cheaper than Scotty Pippin and Michael Jordan." Then he accuses Conan of being a bad tipper.
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Conan made him golf balls with Shaq's face on it for him to hit with a golf club. Barkely's response, "The only thing that would be better is if it were actually his head."
"I played football one day in my life and then I realized they were a bunch of damn idiots."