Bars & Clubs

After opening with something of a whimper in the old Thin Room space amidst a flurry of other Deep Ellum bar openings back in early 2010, the Black Swan Saloon has since established itself as a go-to spot for patrons of all sorts — an especially impressive feat considering that the watering hole doesn't even so much as boast a sign alerting walkers-by of its existence. Credit much of the bar's success to owner and main barkeep Gabe Sanchez. Aside from maybe being the best bartender in town, he's always cooking up something new behind the bar, likely a new liquor infusion (try the strawberry-infused vodka or the apple- and cinnamon-infused Jim Beam). But where Sanchez really made his mark was in bringing the Brooklyn-born trend of offering pickle juice chasers for whiskey shots to Dallas. It's crazy how it works, immediately balancing out any burn or taste from your whiskey of choice. We think it's in the pH balance, maybe? Not sure. But we do know this: Shortly after the Swan started doing this, every other bar in town started offering the same thing, claiming that they'd always done it. Nope. We're calling bullshit. And ordering another round from Sanchez while we're at it.

Having a well-edited selection of reasonably priced wines is quite the challenge for a wine bar, but that's exactly what Vino 100 has achieved. With more than a hundred wines priced $25 or less, the wine bar makes the perfect spot for a weekend gathering with friends or a late business meeting with a finicky wine connoisseur. If you can't decide which varietal to pick or which cabernet is robust enough for your palate, just ask one of their trusty wine experts for advice. The staff won't steer you wrong. And don't skip on the cheese plate.

It's great that the cool shops and restaurants in the Bishop Arts District and the area around the Kessler Theater are drawing people to the neighborhood. Unfortunately, almost all of them close by 10 or 11 p.m., leaving little to do for night owls (like the people who work at those restaurants and shops) and giving the appearance that North Oak Cliff rolls up the sidewalks well before midnight. But if you want to keep the candle burning after the yuppies head back across the river to stop the babysitter meter from running, head to Tradewinds Social Club some night — any night, really, as it's open till 2 a.m. seven days a week. It's a dive and proud of it, with a ratty pool table, a possibly functional shuffleboard table and a diverse clientele that could charitably be called eclectic. You might witness a fight, you might hear bad music on the jukebox and you might cock an eyebrow at the mismatched glassware and furniture, or you might dance with hipsters and hear a great DJ set or live band. Either way, it beats going home.

Musicians, trust us on this. If you or your band can pull off a set that's even the least bit rootsy, folky or country, you owe yourself at least one show at the AllGood Cafe. Owner Mike Snider is a long-time supporter of Texas music, as the awesome collection of signed gig posters bedecking the place can attest, and he knows how to treat musicians right. That means not only a fair cut of the money from the door (as in, all of it) and a generous bar tab, but a meal as well. For everyone in the band. We're partial to the chicken-fried steak, which consistently pops up on best-of lists including this one, though the chicken nachos are great as well, and there are great options for non-carnivores too. The stage isn't the biggest in town and while the sound system is fine, you may have to tweak the levels yourself. But the experience can't be beat. Just be sure to put something in the servers' tip jar at the end of the night — they'll treat you like the most important guest in the house, whether your set merits it or not.

You old-timers need to quit it with your Trees-was-better-back-in-the-day horse manure. Just stop it. Right now. Yes, Radiohead played there once upon a time. Sure, Nirvana too. Others as well, we're told. News flash: Radiohead is not going to be playing a 600-capacity venue again any time soon. The next Radiohead? Just maybe, if we're lucky. But here's the thing: If such an up-and-coming act does play Trees this time around, they'll sound way better now than they ever possibly could have back then. Why? Because Trees' sound system is way better now than it ever was. Owners Clint and Whitney Barlow have the place set up with the same exact sound system as the House of Blues' — only in a venue a third of the size. You literally shake when the bass comes in. It's glorious. There's a reason why the best hip-hop, electronic and metal shows all happen here. Just be sure to bring some earplugs — it's definitely loud. Loud enough to drown out the haters, if you think about it.

The term "jam session" usually elicits a groan from most live-music fanatics. But the one that takes place every Wednesday night at The Prophet Bar is like nothing you'll see in town. Hosted by Grammy-winning R&B singer Shaun Martin, the night of improvisational neo-soul and R&B sees the Prophet Bar crowded with people each week — sometimes well after the 2 a.m. curfew. And with good reason: Erykah Badu musical director R.C. Williams and his band The Gritz make The Prophet Bar feel like it belongs in another city in a different era. DJ Jay Clipp starts things off with a bass-heavy mix of hip-hop and R&B.

Truthfully, patio-dwelling in Dallas is only comfortable for a few weeks out of the year. The rest of the time, you're either sweating it out or freezing. But the patio at Bar Belmont, located at North Oak Cliff's The Belmont Hotel, is pleasant all year round. Half of it is covered and the other half is open to the elements, and the entire thing offers a spectacular view of downtown Dallas from the vintage hotel's spot perched on a hill. As added bonuses, if you get hungry, you can order award-winning barbecue from Smoke, and if you drink too much, you can stay the night.

The Cedars Social crowd is a hard one to define. It's a melting pot of sorts, consisting of young artist types, aging hipsters, trendy Uptowners and folks from the neighborhood, which is huge considering that the nearest adjacent building is South Side on Lamar. The commonality of all the patrons is the desire for well-made, refreshing beverages, which The Cedars Social has in abundance. Riding the wave of the Prohibition-era cocktail trend, the drink menu is divided into turn-of-the-century time periods, while, oddly enough, the decor is something from a 1970s den.

Yes, it's right across the street from the Dallas Observer office. But that it's within walking (OK, sprinting sometimes, after editorial staff meetings in which both infrastructure and the Trinity River project are discussed) distance accounts for only, oh, 60 percent or so of why it's our favorite happy hour. There's the newly added bar food, which even our food critic applauds. There's the colorful, cheerful and welcoming crowd of regulars, a mix that seems to be split pretty evenly between straight and LGBT. There's the outdoor basketball half-court. And there's the patio screen, great for game watching when you want to be part of a raucous crowd but can't stand bro-tastic sports bar crowds. But mostly it's the duration and discount of the drink specials. Wells are just $2, and almost everything else (excluding super-premium drinks — just ask your bartender) is $3, and happy hour runs from open to close Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. The rest of the week, the specials last until 7 p.m.

Athletes go to Nick & Sam's when they're hungry. They flitter over to Dragonfly at Hotel ZaZa when they want to get their drink on. But when rich and famous athletes want to hunker down and watch sports over a cold beer in a hot spot, they congregate at Ten. At the corner of Main and Field, the downtown sports bar has hosted such celebs as Steve Nash (who stopped by to watch some English soccer), Charles Barkley (who stopped by to watch some NBA playoffs) and Shaquille O'Neal (who stopped by because he knew he'd be recognized, but not mobbed). Kobe Bryant, Dirk Nowitzki, Josh Howard, Eduardo Najera and even the band Puddle of Mudd have been known to pop in. SMU hoops coach Matt Doherty is a regular. With nine hi-def plasma televisions, a prime location adjacent to Hotel Adolphus and just the right dash of ambiance and anonymity, Ten has become the Bo Derek of Dallas sports scenes.

The team keeping things in line and the crowds in check at the Granada Theater? They're no rent-a-cops. And that's the idea, the reason why they're called "serenity" guards, not "security" guards. A little cheesy? Sure, but so is the "Love Yourself" sign above the stage. Oh, well. That's just how it is over at the Granada, a spirit that trickles down from owner Mike Schoder's days spent traveling the country as a fan recording live Widespread Panic bootlegs back in the day. The guy doesn't just love music; he loves it, talks about it the way a college freshman does after smoking his first joint and "finally really listening" to The Wall. The whole vibe is friendly, encouraging and docile, a setting that inspires a relaxed concert-going experience. In turn, it takes all the pressure off of the should-be "security" guards. Making them, y'know, serene. It's a beautiful thing.

Cute cowboys? Check. Friendly bartenders? Check. Cheap drinks? Check. Good music? Check. Uninhibited straight girls plus Jell-O shots? Check and check. With a list like this, it isn't hard to see why The Round Up Saloon is one of the most beloved and well-known bars not only in the gayborhood, but in all of Dallas. From karaoke to pool tables, dance floor to rooftop patio, The Round Up has all of the bases covered for a pleasure-seeking good time. Its convivial reputation has attracted the attention of citizens far outside our city limits, with surprise visits made this year by both Lady Gaga and Hermione Granger, aka Emma Watson. Is there any place in Dallas that's more apropos for the pop stars and famous movie witches of the world to come down to earth and have a frolicking good time with us mere mortals? Highly unlikely.

For almost eight years now, The Double Wide has charmed drinkers and music fans alike down on the edge of Deep Ellum with its unique blend of trailer park décor and rock 'n' roll chic. The cheap drinks haven't exactly hurt the place when it comes to drawing a crowd, either. And now Lower Greenville residents don't have to make the drive down to Deep Ellum to partake in the party. Back in May, when the Winedale Tavern shuttered just months before its 26th anniversary, Double Wide owner Kim Finch swept in to take the place over. She called it, fittingly, the Single Wide. And though the Winedale certainly boasted a homey vibe of its own, she gave it a facelift, bringing in all the mounted animal heads and low-rent kitsch you'd expect to the new spot's walls. It's no surprise that people immediately took a shining to it. The real surprise is that there's no Triple Wide yet.

If you thought that the era of techno and electronic music died in the late '90s, you clearly haven't been to Lizard Lounge, which continues to host the world's top DJs. Rumbling bass, bright laser lights and twirling glow sticks all contribute to the sort of sensory overload welcomed by its patrons, who pack the massive space on weekends, making it easy to blend in. And, for those who want to stand out, The Church, Lizard Lounge's semiweekly goth nights on Thursdays and Sundays, encourages such leather-bound singularity. So, if your wardrobe screams "Leather Daddy," then chances are Lizard Lounge is the place for you.

In early 2011, Rio Room, located on Travis Street, opened its doors to explosive fanfare. DJ sets for the night were performed by DJ Lo Down Loretta Brown (Erykah Badu's alter ego) and Chromeo, which drew a good mix of hipsters and socialites. The space, while not huge, gets packed quickly and regularly thanks to a revolving door of celebrity DJs and top spin artists. Super producer Diplo has already performed at the place twice. So too has Badu, who shared the DJ booth with The Roots drummer ?uestlove on the second go around. Celebrity aside, Rio Room's sound system and floor plan are all designed to keep its patrons moving.

Every man needs a home bar. Every man needs that place he can slouch into, order a Shiner or a Maker's on the rocks and retreat into its dimly lit recesses to hide from Dallas' summer hellscape. The Windmill Lounge is that place. Once you park in the gravel lot behind the building and pass through the red door, you may notice that The Windmill exists in a state of perpetual night, which is by design. Don't give a man bright and airy. Wrap him in a cocoon of low lighting and blasting air conditioning. Give him a black vinyl couch that runs the length of the back wall, where he can continue slouching. Give him tiny, one-man-operation bathrooms scarcely big enough to turn around in. And, most important, give him a jukebox with a puzzling assortment of soul and soundtracks from seminal films like Clueless, Grosse Pointe Blank and The Wackness. That, friends, is a place just seedy enough to be a man's home bar. God bless our happy Windmill Lounge.

In 2011, a Deep Ellum bar that was destined to be the best rock bar in Dallas reopened under the ownership of one of Dallas' biggest rock stars. Drowning Pool bassist Stevie Benton opened The Boiler Room for business the same day he got the keys to the front door back in June, and it's been teeming with Deep Ellum's hard-rock set ever since. Benton beefed up the venue room, which sits adjacent to the bar room, with a powerful sound system and lighting rig, making The Boiler Room one of the best places in town to see a hard-rock show. And, chances are, you might get to rub elbows with a few rock stars while you're at it.

"Mixologist" has always seemed such a pretentious term. Bartender wasn't good enough? Did a bunch of drink-slingers attend a doctoral program in mixology at Johns Hopkins? Pfft. At least we used to think that way until we met Gabe Sanchez, owner of Black Swan Saloon and winner of two other "bests" in this issue — for introducing pickle shots to the city and creating his watermelon-infused vodka and club soda. Mixologist? How about "alcohological alchemist?" With its large glass jars of house-made fruit and veggie infusions, Sanchez's narrow, woody saloon, tucked on a Deep Ellum street corner, has the vibe of a medieval chemist's lab (a very cool, inviting lab). Tell him how your tastes run, and he'll whip out various liquids, infusions, ice cream, pixie dust, whatever and whip up something you've never had before but realize you've been hankering for all along. Alchemists searched vainly for the secret to turning dross into gold, but Sanchez has found something better: the recipes for liquid happiness. (Philospher's stone would make an excellent drink name, by the way.)

This award has become synonymous with Adair's – the broken-in dance floor, the burger, the flair cluttering every possible space on the wall. It's local; it's loved; it's fantastic. We'd never argue otherwise. But since we've told you about Adair's every year for, like, forever, this year we decided to change up the equation and cast the honky-tonk net far and wide, all the way to Fort Worth. If you figure the ratio of dance-floor square footage to distance from Dallas, Billy Bob's is practically in your backyard, or something. But honestly, the place that bills itself as the world's largest honky tonk is a sight to behold. Every seen a saddle that's a disco ball? Go to Billy Bob's. Want to see the best country concerts? Billy Bob's. Crave an order of righteous fried pickles? Yeah, Billy Bob's. It's a special occasion honky tonk, the Six Flags of country bars, and every two-steppin' Texan worth his or her cowboy boots should make the drive at least once to drink a Shiner in what feels like the most spectacular Western movie set.

You do it in the shower, but nobody is watching. You do it in your car when you should be paying attention to your driving. At MAC Karaoke you get to do it in front of the captive audience of your buddies while being serviced by some friendly Koreans. Get your mind out of the gutter. We're talking about unleashing that inner rock star that secretly resides in each and every one of us. No more embarrassing surprise walk-ins while singing into a round brush or shampoo bottle, and no more side-eyes from the person in the next car. At MAC, your terrible sing-along to Journey is encouraged! As far as Korean karaoke joints go, MAC boasts one of the most all-encompassing and frequently updated song lists out there. While you're belting away, imbibe on a selection of soju and beer, because after all, you are a rock star. If you want, you can even order a fruit platter or some of their killer Korean spicy wings and pretend they're on your bands' rider list. It's what the Britneys and Jessicas would do. (Especially the wings part.)

Thursday nights carry a temptation like no other: From 10 or 11 p.m. (it's loose; go with it) to 2 a.m. GOOD LUCK Karaoke commences with fucking up the Double Wide proper via themed karaoke parties ranging from the bizarre to the downright genteel. Hosts Josh Hammertimez and Oliver Pecker (whose real names have been partially changed to prot ... well, just because) never disappoint when it comes to inspired moves or stage wear. As Pecker says, "We do it for the love of PARTY'N!" Hammertimez agrees, adding "Oliver is really good at throwing parties and I'm really good at attending them." GLK recently celebrated its one-year anniversary, and looking back, Hammertimez says the boys' fondest memories are of toga, emergency-room and construction-zone nights. In that case, yield to your DJs and proceed without caution; rockers ahead.

On March 14, a club full of gay men thundered with excitement after a long night's wait. It wasn't because the bartender replaced the kegs of cosmos. Lady Gaga had arrived. The night before her Monster Ball Tour hit the American Airlines Center with the Scissor Sisters, Twitter's rumor mill was spinning. She was there. She was at the jam-packed Round-Up Saloon on Oak Lawn. "Please don't rush the stage," the club's announcer said over the P.A, "or I'll kick you in the nuts." Someone nearby screamed, "Is she here?" Then it happened. Fast. Like a lightning strike, she stepped on the wooden dance floor, performed "Born This Way," and left. It was fast and furious, and something very special. There was a sense of genuine care, love and community in the air. There was a sense that we all caught the view of something fleeting and good. We all saw an artist at work, just for a moment. Whether you love or hate her, in that moment, she was great. It was an exciting moment in a city that pretends to have too few.

There's no bonding experience quite like self-imposed humiliation — or mutual success. Dallas Comedy House's improv classes offer the perfect way for laugh-loving folk to meet, make friends and figure out paths to punch lines that don't always involve dick jokes. Students enjoy weekly classes to build skills and show them off in a public showcase at the end of each term so they can prove to family and friends why they should or shouldn't be the next member of Upright Citizens Brigade. Those who truly improve their improv get to level up to more challenging classes. Jam sessions (for those who prefer a seat in the audience or those who want to go after improv with open-mic-style abandon) can sometimes morph into a dance party and the cover's cheaper than an ultra-chode lounge. Occasionally, DCH offers a trial improv class for free so potential students can see if the world of "yes, and" is right for them.

Dallas, you finally have that place. That one place you keep hearing about, haven't fully grasped what it is and need to be there. It's a place that shimmers at night and sleeps by day. Here's the kicker for this music and art find on 2703 Canton St.: It's the most unpretentious, genuine venue in Dallas. Proprietors Leticia Gallegos (who also runs a local music aggregate site called Gorilla Groove) and Emilo Muniz (a photographer schooled at UNT) are lovers of Deep Ellum. They're protectors. It's in their bones. They live it, and the vibrancy of Deep Ellum shines best at their shows. Established in 2010, the co-op has hosted shows that include metal art, live photography, Parade of Flesh brand concerts and "Who Sharted?" (a hilarious T-shirt art concept show). They are always on the lookout for local sponsors who give a shit (they currently have an informal partnership with Batter Blaster, an aerosol pancake dispenser thing out of Austin). Oh, one thing we forgot to mention — there's always free beer. Donations are welcome, though.

Most happy hours consist of a few cheap beer specials and dollar-off wells, but the Beauty Bar specializes in our kind of happy hour: manicures and martinis. During their workday happy hour, the low, low price of $10 lets you end a stressful day with a new coat of nail polish and James Bond's chosen libation. Don't expect the spa treatment, but you will get a damn good manicure and strong adult beverage for less than you'd pay for a mani at the nail salon. The vibe's cool, the manicurists are sexy and you'll have pretty nails and a buzz by the time you leave. Now that's killing two birds with one stone.

There's no shortage of titillating men's clubs in the city, and we've done enough research to know that it's no easy decision choosing a favorite. But one of the defining qualities of a great men's club is its ability to cater not just to men but also the ladies. Plus it has to have a wide variety of women to appeal to, well, a wide variety of clients. That's why Cabaret Royale gets our vote. There are the standard bottle-blond types, the exotic brunettes, the stick-thin, the curvy girls and just about every other type of lady you want to see partially clothed. And since the club is just as accommodating to lady customers, you can feel comfortable bringing the girlfriend. It's a lot easier than explaining the stack of ones in your wallet.

Over the course of one night spent bouncing between the indoor tables and the patio of the Lakewood Landing, we overheard the following conversations: a girl weighing the pros and cons of various birth control (she knew that shit like she'd auditioned for the latest Ortho-Vaginale commercial), a guy lamenting how messy his roommate's "bike room" was (We're jealous. Who can spare an entire room for bike storage?), a group of duders besting one another on their knowledge of Argentina (yes, a girl was involved and no, she was not interested) and a proposed sugar-cookie eating contest. OK, fine, there's a large chance we were actually involved in that last one. Point is, the Landing may always be a great place to catch up with friends, but it's also a fantastic place to go to forget about your own troubles and focus on someone else's.

Sitting out here on a warm (or sweltering hot) summer evening and watching a good band fill up Dada's spacious front room with music is pretty damn nice. It's also comforting to be able to chain-smoke nervously while you wait to go on and bomb at karaoke with a live band behind you. And when you stumble offstage after your voice breaks five times trying to hit the high notes on "Welcome to the Jungle," you can sit outside and nurse your wounds with a cold beer under the stars. Dada, for your outdoor contribution to an already great indoor space, we salute you.