13 Things That Make for the Perfect House Show

The other day I told you about all of the super cool unofficial house shows and day parties that this 35 Denton has to offer. Turns out they don't disappoint. Or, at least the one all-day house show at 1401 Bolivar St. yesterday didn't. It had all of the correct elements for a perfect Denton house show, including the inevitable rain clouds that came later in the day and washed everything away like that scene from Forrest Gump. There was many rains.

See also: -The Best from 35 Denton Night Two: Metal Wrestling and Fence Repair -The Best from 35 Denton Night One: The Dancing, The Technological Advances and The Artisanal Jello Shots -Interviews with Vendors, Bands, Policemen and Fans about What Makes Denton Great

1. Kick-ass bands. Every house show needs kick-ass bands rope people in, which was certainly no problem yesterday. Go here to see the full line-up, but I'll tell you that it included acts like super group Treelines, gritty singer-songwriter Daniel Markham and surf-punk band Sealion, to name a few.

2. A cardboard schedule. Or, really just any line-up that is handwritten and resides on objects taped to the house. You gotta have organization, people. The guys hosting the show definitely hit the mark with that.

3. Outdoor furniture. Nothing says "shabby chic" more than a full-on living area set up in the great outdoors. Granted, all of that shit eventually got obliterated by Texas storms, but it was functional and elegant while it lasted.

4. The Cowboy. You know which one. There's always at least one cowboy at a Denton house show, and they come in many different shapes, sizes and attitudes. This one just so happens to be sporting Bud Light in a camo koozie and making the best candid cowboy pose ever. We are still in Texas, after all. Don't let the hipsters fool you.

5. The tree house. Or, really, tree goddess, judging by this picture. My God. Either way, if a house show has a tree house, a six pack and either a deck of cards or a make-out buddy, what more do you really need?

6. Dogs. You always need a dog at every good Denton house show, and this one just so happens to be tiny enough that its owner decided to anchor it down with nothing more than a six pack of Pacifico.

7. Hula hoops. Poor things. If hula hoops were people, they'd have severe abandonment issues. Hula hoops are the prop that no party is complete without, though the average fun (and use) people tend to get out of a hula hoop only lasts about 45 seconds to a minute and a half, and generally starts with the phrase, "Oh my God, I haven't done this in forever!"

8. Porta potty. This is actually the most brilliant idea ever for a house show. If you have a porta potty in the backyard of your house, and bands in your garage, you can eliminate so much unnecessary riffraff. This thing was actually surprisingly clean inside, so tally another one up for best house show ever.

9. Bands loading in. No house show is complete without a constant line, like soldier ants, of bands lugging gear from the van to the house, or from the tailgate and into the kitchen or through the back door. No one ever offers to help, we just like watching this happen. As an audience, it excites us.

10. The hot girl. There's always one really hot girl at a house show. No, she's not going to hook up with you, so unless you have something actually interesting to say, chug a P.B.R. and keep moving.

11. An injury. No house show is complete without a guy with an injury. It's a really easy talking point when you go outside for a smoke. "Hey man, that looks rough. How'd you get that?" What's absolutely awful, however, is when a friend of said dude with injury walks up and punches the injury, and in this case, a semi-broken and very swollen hand. I thought a legitimate fight was going to break out.

12. The smoke circle. At the edge of every backyard of every house show, there's a circle, or a half-circle, of kids who look just like this. If the back yard just happens to be woodsy for added privacy, like this one, then score!

13. Texas-sized storms. Storms that make the sky look like this, and force everyone to run for cover--those make a house show all the more exciting. If people are running for cover, they usually all take shelter together, like the garage, which makes the show all the more cozy and intimate.

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