Belafonte

If your taste in music is so safe, bland and generic that you think Christian rock can get a little too “saucy,” then you’re in luck, thanks to Dallas’ latest everything-on-the-radio clones Belafonte. Sure, there’s something for every radio rock fan to like on this debut EP–after all, Belafonte apes every hit that has topped the past decade’s rock charts, from All That You Can’t Leave Behind-era U2 on opener “Hard to Keep” to a textbook-perfect take on Radiohead’s The Bends in “Movin’ On.” Thing is, with all this mimicry, nobody in the band compares to an Elton John, Jonny Greenwood or Bono–Belafonte is decent at best, with Brian Hedenberg’s forgettable singing style doing nothing to boost these tried-and-true song formulas, boring lyrics (“You said I can’t take it, but I’m breathing/You said I can’t make it, but I’m moving”) and stale, feedback-filled guitar lines. The only performance that stands out is Johnny Lloyd Rollins’ guest appearance on a song he wrote, “Let’s Be Poor Together,” and dudes, it’s sad when your debut’s only memorable song is thanks to a friend who isn’t even in the band. Kudos to JLR, though.