Welcome to Dear Audra/Dear Hunter, where Audra Schroeder and Hunter Hauk correspond through a series of dramatic letters about pop culture that flummoxes us, like we're Marlene Dietrich and Noël Coward.
I don't know if I can handle it again. I've been seeing headlines to the effect of "Boy Bands Are Back, Y'all!" It troubles me. Not only because I keep getting older while the boy bands keep getting younger. There's more to it.
When I was 10, I was dragged to a New Kids on the Block concert at Reunion Arena. One of my li'l friends had an unhealthy obsession with Donnie. She wrote rap songs about him and made me hold a tape recorder as she performed them. When we arrived at the concert, she became instantly irritated that I wouldn't leave our Jesus seats and help her try to figure out a way to miraculously bum-rush the stage.