The band walked out onto the Granada stage at 9 p.m. sharp to the sounds of the Star Wars theme song. Jonas and his bandmates waved “Team DNCE” flags while wearing Storm Trooper masks.
They danced around on stage like they were just released from captivity and had discovered music for the first time. At one point, the bass player flopped down on his back and began clapping his feet together. It was as bizarre and desperate as it sounds.
If the spastic dancing wasn’t enough, the audience was also repeatedly reminded that Jonas has had sex. If you know absolutely nothing about the Jonas Brothers, you still know they wore purity rings around 2008. In many respects, the DNCE concert looked and sounded similar to a Jonas Brothers concert in 2008. Joe Jonas is still the frontman and the songs are still catchy and poptastic.
The big difference is that sex is the underlying message in almost all of DNCE’s songs.
Their first two singles, “Cake By The Ocean” and “Toothbrush,” both allude to sex. Then during their performance of the song “Blown” (about you-know-what), a grocery cart of bras and panties were paraded around the stage, while one bra hung from the bass player’s mic stand. Sex! Joe Jonas has had sex! Congratulations to him.
With all that said, Jonas is a charming and talented frontman. Sure, his little bro, Nick, has the vocal chops. And I’m sure Kevin also brought something to the family band. But it was Joe who was the face for so many years. There’s a reason girls fell in love with him. And there’s a reason they are still showing up nearly 10 years later to see him perform.
The music is fine. Each song is more or less indistinguishable from the next, as well as everything else on pop radio right now, whether it’s Chainsmokers, Bruno Mars or Maroon 5. But it’s Jonas who drives the young women and gay men to DNCE’s shows.
It could be Jonas’ decent looks or his decent voice that brings out the crowds, but I’m willing to bet it’s his stage presence. He had enough of it to command a sold-out show with the JoBros at Cowboys Stadium back in 2009, after all. So there was plenty to spare at the Granada Theater last weekend.
What was confusing and a little bit annoying about the show was that DNCE covered Spice Girls, Britney Spears and the Guess Who, but there wasn’t the slightest nod to the Jonas Brothers. I’m sure Jonas wants to separate himself from that band, and I’m sure the bandmates don’t want to play a song about the Year 3000, but one song or one chorus of a song would have sent the fans into overdrive.
Before the show began, Granada Theater displayed tweets from audience members on a large screen. When one tweet about the Jonas Brothers came up, the entire crowd yelled. Because apparently once you’re a JoBro hoe, you’re always a JoBro hoe.
Yell if you're a JoBro hoe for life @granadatheater
— ? (@AphroditeAmanda) January 29, 2017
