First of all, Happy Father's Day.
OK, now that that's done, we've got something to say. Our heads our going to explode, Scanners-style, if we hear you jack up the radio to ZZ Top's "La Grange" again.
Maybe back in the day, when you and your friends were knocking mailboxes over, these were the songs on the radio. But it's time to say goodbye. It's nothing personal, seriously, but if we hear you turn the volume up to 11 one more time for Eric Clapton's "Tears in Heaven" we just might move to some far away island and change our names.
All Sons and Daughters Everywhere
P.S. Read our full list of songs you made us hate after the jump. And don't hate us Dad. We do it because we love you.
- We know this song makes you nostalgic for the way rock "should be," but we're sick, SICK of taking old records off the shelf.
2. CCR - "Down on the Corner" - Hey, we love us the occasional CCR. You know, when we're contemplating dropping acid on our porch. But, for the sake of all baseball players who've wanted to shotgun-mouth themselves during "Put me in coach / I'm ready to play," and the ear-clawing during the repeating "Down on the Corner" chorus: No more.
3. Stevie Wonder - "I Just Called To Say I Love You" - Dad, we know you've danced with mom to this song in your boat in 1987 during some hazy, Budweiser can memory of yours. It's sweet, but so is silence. You know?
4. Eagles - "Take It Easy" - Just terrible. It's too crowded and hot to "run down the road."
5. Righteous Brothers - "You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling" - Dad, hate to break it to you, but Top Gun is really, really lame.
6. Jimmy Buffet - "Pencil Thin Moustache" - So is Jimmy Buffet.
7. Steve Miller Band - "The Joker" - The last thing we ever want to do is call anyone "Space Cowboy." Dad, it just doesn't work anymore.
8. Eric Clapton - "Wonderful Tonight" - It's possible we never liked Eric Clapton. Especially when he was riding that convertible with B.B. King.
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9. Don McLean - "American Pie" - We'd rather listen to Garth Brooks, on repeat, than hear the chorus to this song again.
10. ZZ Top - "La Grange" - A quickly-established moratorium needs to happen on this song--not just for fathers everywhere, but all humans.