Dallas has always been a wellspring of source material for reality show producers looking to put some squick-worthy drama on television.
Along with the new Most Eligible: Dallas and Big Rich Texas shows that make up the crust on the bottom of the basic cable reality barrel, we've seen some memorable reality-TV turns by local musicians in years past: Vanilla Ice on The Surreal Life; The Polyphonic Spree's Jennie Kelley on MasterChef; and, of course, that whole Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica mess.
Let's face it: Dallas musicians are an entertaining bunch.
To that end, we've collected a list of 10 local music entities that need to be on reality TV. Really, we think the Most Eligible producers are missing out. Faux-tanned douchebags are a dime a dozen 'round these parts, but the musicians on this list are completely unique. And we think their shenanigans would be far more television-worthy than the current crop of DFW-based reality clones.
Click on the jump for our nominations, and nominate your own in the comments.
10. The King Bucks. Lanky bass-playing Buck, Danny Balis, already gets his fair share of air time via KTCK-1310 AM The Ticket, but, as everyone knows, the P1 is rarely satisfied, always in need of more and more from their favorite radio personalities. But, aside from even that, wouldn't it be fun to see a video clip montage of Joe Butcher's daily mustache maintenance? Hey, if it worked for Pauly D's blowout...
9. Vinnie Paul. The Pantera drummer-cum-strip club impresario is a colorful character whose personality would be perfect for the small screen. Hell, Pantera's videos of the band just screwing around from back in the day are fairly legendary in their own right. But a Clubhouse-themed reality show? If nowhere else, surely it could fit in somewhere in Spike TV's lineup, right?
8. Ishi. This band has certainly seen their fair share of calamity, courtesy of the abrupt departure of two members this past summer. So, OK, most of the TV-worthy drama may be behind them. But we still think Ishi still has reality TV potential. After all, much of INXS' post-Hutchence exposure has come courtesy of their televised search for a new singer...
7. T. Tex Edwards. Although he currently lives in Austin, the former Nervebreakers frontman is one of the most interesting musicians ever, of all-time, period. After opening for the Sex Pistols at the Longhorn Ballroom, Tex made a name for himself as one of the most outrageous drunk punks on the planet. When his health began failing, though, he quit drinking. He's now an organic gardening enthusiast, all-around health nut and phenomenally prolific blogger. If it worked for Mike Tyson's pigeons, the world should totally be ready for Gardening with Tex.
6. The Phoenix Project. Those people who tried to make the events surrounding downtown nightlife Plush into a reality show would probably have had better material had they opted to film the DIY punk rockers who bought a burnt-out building on Haskell and turned it into one of Texas' premiere grindcore and crust-punk venues. The Phoenix rose from the ashes of the now-legendary Deep Ellum venue Red Blood Club, which shuttered its doors in 2008. All the blood, beer, and drama of that club has since transferred to the Phoenix, which hosts underground punk bands from around the country.
5. The Whiskey Folk Ramblers. These Fort Worth alt-country favorites have two everpresent band moms (bassist Jack Russell's adorable wife and mother are at every pretty much every WFR gig we've seen), and yet, somehow, the band still manages to make major mischief. Rumor has it, they're responsible for the wildest baby shower of all-time, although the details are sketchy. Hey! That kinda sounds like The Hills!
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4. Leg Sweeper. This punk duo's Twitter feed makes for a great argument against the whole we-should-all-have-Breathalyzers-for-our-Twitter-accounts argument. Their drunk tweets are truly entertaining, mostly because they tweet about drinking every goddamn day. Honestly, we are A) a little bit concerned for their health, and B) convinced that their shenanigans should be filmed for posterity.
3. The Gonzalez Brothers. Aaron and Stefan Gonzalez, who play jazz in Yells At Eels and grindcore in Akkolyte, are two of the nicest guys in the business. This doesn't keep them from being wildly entertaining. We want to see someone film the reactions of people when Aaron walks into a venue in full body paint. (Because we've seen it, and it's great.)
2. Play-n-Skillz. As a liaison of sorts between musicians and engineers, producers are magnets for the kind of predicaments that reality TV watchers love. Play-n-Skillz got a taste of reality stardom on one episode of MTV's Made, but we think that these two should finally have that long-rumored reality show of their own. Let's face it: Anyone with a talent for pissing off Lil Wayne has the necessary chops to keep a reality program afloat. Plus, they were recently signed to a deal with Jose Cuervo as the new faces of the Platino brand, and, as Jersey Shore, has shown us, alcohol plus polarizing personalities equals televised gold.
1. Erykah Badu. No, she won't be participating beyond a guest role in The D.O.C.'s proposed reality show. But, fact is, Ms. a behind-the-scenes look at Badu's would indeed make for great TV. She does whatever she wants, critics be damned. And that, my friends, is one of the main qualifiers for memorable reality stardom (see: Snooki).