The Best Things We Overheard at ACL Fest This Weekend

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Photo by Julian Bajsel
Note: may not be same sasquatch as quoted below ... but come on.
Angelica Leicht and Marco Torres report back with the most outrageous sound bites they overheard at Weekend 1 of the 2013 Austin City Limits Music Festival.

"I think Bigfoot just copped a feel!"

"Um, these guys are a little bit weird ..."

-- a very confused chick to her very confused boyfriend during Foxygen's set Sunday morning

"This shit doesn't even make sense, and I'm stoned."

-- again with the Foxygen confusion

"Does anyone out here have any money? You guys all have money, right? I have a broken leg. I don't know. Who has money?"

-- Foxygen ranting about money and broken legs or something

"Thank you all for eating your vegetables. They keep you healthy. Like, the ones that used to be pickles and the ones that aren't covered in chemicals and they're expensive. Vegetables are expensive. Especially the ones that aren't filled with chemicals. Right?"

-- Sam from Foxygen, again making no sense to my tiny brain

"It has the same Austin vibe, but it smells so much better!"

"This is the first ACL in 10 years that I've been sober. I think something is wrong with me!"

Photo by Julian Bajsel
"Dat ass!"

"Why does that kid look like he's gonna scream-cry?"

"What?! You didn't seem to care who knew you knew when we were making out at the Red Lion!"

"I bet if you work at one of these beer things you get really good at multiplying by either six or by eight."

-- someone in awe of the beer vendors' skillz

Photo by Marco Torres
"Thank you for coming out. And fuck allergies!"

-- Passion Pit, apparently suffering from some post-nasal drip or something

"Jack Daniel's makes my festival experience so much better."

"Whatever dude. White world problems."

-- Guessing they meant "first-world problems"?

"Wow, dude. Way to piss where I'm walking!"

-- very annoyed writer to a guy relieving himself on a tree, and damn near on her sweet cowboy boots

"I couldn't decide whether to bring one joint or two, so I went with two. You can't watch The Cure sober or you'll cry."

-- a guy who was cool as shit for admitting he Cure-cries

"He's over here somewhere."

-- a crew of police officers looking for a suspected drug dealer

More random quotes on the next page.

Photo by Julian Bajsel
"Look at the way all the spotlights are tilted at an angle, all perfect and shit. It's like art in the sky."

"Hey! You guys are Led Zeppelin!"

"Girl! You know you want this dick!"

"I know you! You're Waldo!"

"Who doesn't like bubbles?"

"Well, even if they roofied it, everyone knows that's a waste of a roofie, cause I'll sleep with literally anybody."

-- person quelling concerns about a friend in re: a drink left unattended

Photo by Julian Bajsel
"I mean, I don't get it. You wanna walk over and catch Kings of Leon now?"

-- two young kids obviously confused with Robert Smith's makeup

"Can I see it? Can you take another one?!"

-- most females, after every photo I took

"Sometimes at ACL you have to have like, a parent's level of patience. If one more drunk girl steps on me, I'm going to have to channel my mom."

"Man, Austin is so full of fuckin' hipsters. Why do they insist on these porn-staches and weird hats?"

"I mean, how is that not offensive?"

-- very confused person on the use of feather headdresses by non-Native Americans at the festival

Photo by Marco Torres
"Man ... fuck Matt Schaub!"

-- distraught Texans fan watching the game in the beer tent on Sunday

"Dude, you can't sell that ticket for that. I tried. Just, no. No one wants to buy your damn ticket!"

-- scalper tiff outside Zilker Park over the price of a wristband

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