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The Problem With... Katy Perry's "Firework"

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It seems, much as we try, no one can avoid Katy Perry. Hell, she's pretty much everywhere these days, between awards shows, popping up (or not at all, turn out) on Sesame Street. She even lashed out at Microsoft over their closed-source softw... no, actually, her fans just wanted free booze in that case.

And that's pretty cool.

Add in the fact that the first keyboard notes of her latest track, "Firework," sound like something out of Miike Snow or Little Boots -- and, hey, maybe we're getting somewhere!

Turns out, though, Perry's once again just playing the tease.

Instead, we get a track that follows pop music's grand-and-sappy-ballad template.

One lyrical hangup stands out in the first lines, equating sadness with a plastic bag. I'm not sure where that convention came from. Between tricking gullible animals into eating them and loitering on trees, it sounds like they're having a good time. Also, those bastards last a whole lot longer than fireworks.

Anyway, the video follows Katy hanging out on a balcony, overlooking a nocturnal city. Things look normal until the chorus, when Katy's ample chest starts com-bust-ing in a fireworks show. Dazzler much?

It's like Katy and the director thought, "Lady Gaga's firecracker bra? Screw that! We're gonna turn Katy's chest into a fireworks display that makes the Fourth of July look like a tea candle! And, to top that,we're gonna make everyone else combust! Pardon them while they burst."

But, see, here's the thing: If the message of this track is supposed to reassure dispossessed youth, using a "burn out instead of fade away" metaphor might... uh, backfire.

I would say this track is like a firework, actually. It's flashy, brief and you'll forget it as soon as another one like it pops up in the sky.

Of course, if the police stop by and shut it all down after hearing the first pop, there won't be another one. So I guess there's that.

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