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A Cunning Plan Foiled

This is not young Jim Schutze...

OK, this is navel-gazing of the worst kind, but I thought you might like to know about it anyway: That picture (at right) on the cover of this week's Dallas Observer, accompanying Jim Schutze's story about the de-hippy-fication of East Dallas, is not Schutze. Looks a little bit like him. Folks who know him insist, yeah, that's Jim. But it's not.

So what did the hippy version of Schutze look like, and wouldn't you like to see it posted on Unfair Park? He sure didn't, but I had a Tom Sawyerish plan. I stopped by Schutze's office: "Jim, you are the son of a Midwestern minister who bought an East Dallas mansion when property values were low and now live in an exclusive historic district. You were never really a hippy, were you?" I wheedle.

Protestations. Denials. I had him. "Oh, sure," I said. "Sure you were, but I won't believe it unless I see a picture." Fine, Schutze said, I'll bring one in.

Perfect, he's taken the bait.

Now slowwwwwwly reel him in, and we'll young Hippy Jim's mug posted here in no time. What a sucker.

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Enter Julie "Bible Girl" Lyons, who hears us talking about the photo. Now, Julie is a wonderful boss and editor, partly because she has no sense of deviousness. None. Zero. Nada. "Great," she says, "we'll put it on Unfair Park."

Light dawns in Schutze's eyes. The pooch has been screwed. No photo, he says. No way. Sigh. Julie should never play poker.

...and we're not saying this is either, but we just don't know.

So, we still have no evidence that Schutze was ever stardust or golden, and frankly I have my doubts. What did young Michigander Jim look like? I'm not saying this other photo here is him, but anything is possible. He is, of course, free to offer evidence to the contrary. --Patrick Williams

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