Buzz

Breaking News! Married Couple Has Frequent Sex!

Honor system: It's reasonable to assume that your coupled friends and neighbors are engaging in a certain amount of consensual adult behavior. But if you're friends or neighbors with one Granbury couple, you don't need to assume. You just need to log on to the CW33's website or watch its newscasts, and you'll meet Lauren and Shawn Scott, who have made a public, family-news-hour pledge to bone each other every day for 30 days and then tell North Texas about it. That bell in your head going off? It's the tacky bell. Ring-a-damned-ding! says the tacky bell.

CW33 reporter Shana Franklin heard about spiritual leaders imploring followers to get their holy poke on in the name of healthy relationships, so she "put out feelers" to find a couple open to doing the horizontal mambo (and the vertical, upside down and catty-corner Charlestons, macarenas and stanky legs) for a whole month. Franklin ended up in Granbury, with the 8.5-years-married Scotts.

Buzz called Franklin to ask the hard questions about goin' hard every day for 30 days. First off: How can interested (we use that term loosely) viewers be sure Lauren and Shawn are really having the sex every day?

"It's a total honor system," explained Franklin. "No fallout if they don't do it every day." No fallout other than, Buzz assumes, that which comes from a relationship crumbling under the pressure of public sexual scrutiny. We have only the Scotts' daily blog—maintained almost entirely by Lauren, it should be noted for anyone delving into theorizing the implications of gender roles, here—to rely on for proof. For example, Day 6, after a weekend away with hubby Shawn and baby Ayden: "Going to unpack today and put Ayden down for an early naptime. I'm fixing Shawn lunch and expecting to give him a surprise dessert...fingers crossed Ayden will be asleep shortly ;)" Little Ayden will surely cherish this memento of his parents' time together as he ages.

Franklin takes a non-Clintonesque approach to sexual definitions, noting that oral probably counts, in case you were wondering, and Buzz was. But Franklin also has a "don't ask, don't care" attitude on further logistical questions, such as: What happens during Lauren Scott's monthly "shark week"? If you're going to go the TMI route, CW33, you better be prepared to go all the way. Horrified by this TMI? Well, if you don't like it, you don't have to read it. On the downside, now that we've told you about it, you might not be able to stop yourself. Surprise dessert!

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Andrea Grimes
Contact: Andrea Grimes

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