Lawyer run amuck!
We're gonna go ahead and blame Jerry Buchmeyer for this one. Buchmeyer is the reigning chief federal judge in Dallas, the top dog of the black-robe set down at the federal courthouse.

For a jurist, Buchmeyer possesses a rare talent--he can write. In fact, Buchmeyer authors some of the funniest, most well-crafted legal opinions that journalists and lawyers see in this town.

It's too bad more lawyers can't write as well as Jerry. It's even worse that so many of them try nonetheless. Buzz assures you--there is nothing scarier than a barrister hopped up on ego and righteousness sitting down at a word processor.

Our case in point: William A. Brewer III.
Brewer, of the law firm of Bickel & Brewer, is the attorney who recently decided to plunge into the bottomless pit of corruption, discord, and racial politics at the Dallas Independent School District. Brewer is representing Shirley Ison-Newsome, the administrator and John Wiley Price ally who sued DISD after she was busted from high honcho to lowly high school principal by Superinten-dent Yvonne Gonzalez.

Ison-Newsome is suing for slander and conspiracy, claiming that DISD officials went out of their way to sully her reputation by telling reporters about a bathroom she had built in her office.

When he sat down to pen Ison-Newsome's lawsuit, Brewer was apparently beset by a muse. He decided to give each of the lawsuit's subsections a headline worthy of a Fox television series.

"Trouble comes to Dallas-Yvonne Gonzalez," reads the subheading of a section that goes on to refer to the superintendent as "Hurricane Gonzalez."

Another section, Buzz's favorite, is headlined "Power run amuck: Defendants create 'Pottygate' and attempt to destroy Ison-Newsome."

Buzz doesn't know how Ison-Newsome's lawsuit will fare, but we know pointless hyperbole when we see it. William III, get a grip. We know Jerry Buchmeyer. Jerry Buchmeyer is a friend of ours. William III, you're no Jerry Buchmeyer.

Lawyer run amuck?
The state bar, standard bearer of all that is good and noble in the legal profession, has apparently taken quite an interest in Dallas' Brian Loncar.

Loncar, you may recall, is the personal injury lawyer who runs a lawsuit mill out of his downtown Dallas office. His television ads feature Loncar driving over cars in a used tank with the same determination he promises to bring to every slip and fall victim who hires his services.

As the Dallas Observer reported in a January 9 cover story, some of Loncar's former employees and associates say he devotes less attention to his clients than his ads would indicate. In fact, they say Loncar hires inexperienced non-lawyers to handle much of the work for his clients.

Allowing non-lawyers to practice law is, of course, not good and noble as far as the legal profession is concerned. Now, Buzz has learned, the bar's Committee on the Unauthorized Practice of Law has assigned an investigator to poke about into Loncar's practices. The investigation portends the possibility of disciplinary action against Loncar.

--David Pasztor

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David Pasztor