Hands down, the best-made T-shirt in the dresser remains the "Perot for President" tee I bought from a street-corner salesman as a gag, swear, in the final days of the 1992 campaign. Sixteen years and countless wearings and washings later, the thing still looks brand-new; not so much Ross Perot, who appears set to star as Brad Pitt in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. And while we're on the subject of the Dallas billionaire and buttons, however ham-handedly, there are plenty o' Perot for President items currently up for grabs on the eBay, among them the pin pictured here -- one of the first I ever recall where a candidate promises a little something called "change." Call the number, if nothing else; it's a giggle.
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Also up for grabs, just in time for that Dallas reunion at Southfork on Saturday: a J.R. Ewing for President pin, allegedly from 1980. Or there's this one from October 1993, whereupon the entirety of Dallas, apparently, "Welcomes Our Next President Jack Kemp."
It also appears, from the sound of Barack Obama's MTV interview over the weekend, that he and Dallas's Deputy Mayor Pro Tem Dwaine Caraway have something in common: Both believe in pullin' 'em up. Because a year after Caraway began his so-called anti-sagging-pants campaign, which ultimately received national attention and even some national support, Obama was asked where he stands on the, um, issue. And while he thinks literally outlawing sagging pants is nonsense, he does say this:
Here is my attitude: I think people passing a law against people wearing sagging pants is a waste of time. We should be focused on creating jobs, improving our schools, health care, dealing with the war in Iraq, and anybody, any public official, that is worrying about sagging pants probably needs to spend some time focusing on real problems out there. Having said that, brothers should pull up their pants. You are walking by your mother, your grandmother, your underwear is showing. What's wrong with that? Come on. There are some issues that we face, that you don't have to pass a law, but that doesn't mean folks can't have some sense and some respect for other people and, you know, some people might not want to see your underwear -- I'm one of them.
Bonus song for listening to with your ears, as hard as possible: Wilco (with Fleet Foxes) has a Bob Dylan cover available absolutely gratis for those who swear, cross-my-heart, you-betcha they're going to vote tomorrow. And, no, it doesn't tell you who to vote for. --Robert Wilonsky