Check That, Everything Isn't Bigger In Texas

I dunno, maybe it's because I'm all baseball-fevering out here at Rangers spring training. Or maybe I'm saving my basketball jones for the Mavs' playoff run. Whatever, I just don't have the March Madness this year. Watched some games last night at a crummy little sports bar in Peoria (where's the Fox Sports Grill when you need it?), and other than this well-played thriller, what I mostly saw was a million missed free throws and crucial botched layups by the likes of supposed Texas A&M star Acie Law IV and some poor sap from Southern Illinois. But as bad as it was, it'll be tons better than the women's version of the Sweet 16 this weekend at Reunion Arena.

With A&M upset last week, the Dallas regional features North Carolina, George Washington, Georgia, Purdue and exactly zero local teams or ties. Y-a-w-n. Reunion will seat 15,000 for the Sunday night games, which is a scary thought for ESPN2, considering as of mid-week organizers had sold a whopping 1,600 tickets. If you're into two-handed chest passes, countless jump balls and two hours of "Yeah, I think I could do that," good tickets are still available at 214-373-8000. But with no alcohol and no dunks, um, no thanks. ESPN can shove down our throats how important this tournament is, but come on, we know better.

While the men are contemplating expanding their field from 65, the women have such a competitive imbalance they should just start and end with the Final Four. In the first round, for example, the four No. 1 seeds won by 29, 37, 49 and 57 points. Me? I'd rather watch those annoying UPS commercials. What can brown do for you? Apparently make you famous for being all cocky about drawing stick figures. --Richie Whitt

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