So, what are you doing right now? You're inside, right? You might be living inside a fridge, or lying, face down, by an air vent, or maybe having an angry fight with a fellow employee over the thermostat. It's probably one of those things. Well, that's only going to get worse this weekend, so forget that whole outside thing, unless you enjoy the feeling of being set on fire by the sun.

Next week, however. Next week could be the most glorious week of any Texas summer ever.

Delkus is so excited he has posted four pictures. FOUR. And one of them contains the word "rollercoaster," so you know it'll be good. Also, as far as the top right picture goes, I understand that H means "hot," but what does L stand for? LOL? LeBron? Let's go outside?

Temperatures could be as low as 80 from Tuesday onwards. This means that all the things you've just left outside to burn, from pets to trash to beloved family members who made the mistake of opening the door, can finally be brought inside to receive a proper funeral.

Seriously, polar icepocalypse tornado vortex. We are so ready. If you could make it here early and never leave, that would be everyone's favorite. Delkus is tingling. TINGLING.

All weather from now on should be conducted on the Delkus Tingle Scale. One tingle for bad, two tingles for good. We don't even need words any more. Just tingling.

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