It has come to our attention that some people in Dallas are leaving comments on the Internet under a false identity. Our world is thusly shattered.
In an investigation published Sunday, The Dallas Morning News revealed that the Dallas Police and Fire Pension System has been orchestrating a PR campaign against the Nasher Sculpture Center, the latest twist in the Museum Tower glare controversy. To sway public opinion against the Nasher and in support of the glare, the pension hired former Channel 5 anchor Mike Snyder, who owns a consulting firm.
What type of highly sophisticated brand-management tactics did Snyder use? He posted comments on the internet under a fake name. On stories in D Magazine and the Morning News, Snyder trash-talked the Nasher under the fake names of "Barry Schwarz" and "Brandon Eley," the DMN report reveals. This led to the question on everyone's mind all the time: BUT WHAT ABOUT US?
We strapped on a hazmat suit and waded into our own comments in search of comments that look suspicious in light of this new information. Here they are.
A commenter named "eleyman" who got way too worked up about venetian blinds Is that eley as in "Brandon Eley" aka one of the fake names the Pension Fund invented? Seems like it. In November, Anna Merlan ridiculed Museum Tower officials for proposing that the Nasher change its roof to fend off the Museum Tower's glare. The Nasher's director of external affairs, Jill Magnuson, told Anna that the Nasher would not change its roof, and that the Pension Fund's suggestion was a mere "a publicity stunt." The commenter Eleyman was not pleased.
"Jill Magnuson is a piece of work, calling this a 'publicity stunt,'" he wrote. His very long comment then assails the Nasher's architect, the Mayor, and, finally, venetian blinds. "Check the internet, when the blinds are down on the building in Germany you can hardly see out and the building looks like a jail. Nasher didn't tell you that did they?"
A commenter named "Barry," who has an unhealthy obsession with "fixing" the Nasher's roof Barry Schwarz? Is that you? In a 460-word opus left on a story last month, a commenter who only identified himself as Barry defended the Pension's roof idea. Here's a highlight: "While the mainstream media has been claiming the Pension System was doing nothing or stalling over the past 18 months, its team of experts were spending thousands of hours pouring over 22 different solutions, and the science and engineering led to only one solution that was a 100% fix for the Museum Tower reflections into the Nasher galleries..."
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Other commenters immediately suspected him of working for the Museum Tower or the Pension.
"Siam," a loyal Dallas Observer commenter, but only on glare stories Siam has posted seven comments on Dallas Observer blog items. Every single comment fiercely defends the Pension Fund. Something else that's suspicious: Siam, like eleyman, really fucking hates Venetian blinds:
"The louvers, more accurately a venetian blind looking contraption that the Mayor, Tom Luce and the Nasher are trying to shove down the throats of the Museum Tower owners will not fix the problem, they will reflect sun too, and they are ugly as hell," Siam wrote in a comment that rings in at 725 words.
Siam, Eleyman, Barry: If you want to salvage your reputation, please call me and prove that you are real people. Or if it's you, Mike, please call me using a fake voice, and really start earning those consulting dollars.