Everybody's Getting Birthday Presents Today!

Michael Young will probably be a Ranger for life. Poor rich guy...

Sorry I'm late to the birthday bash. Seems my mouse, a Trojan horse and my hard drive were waging civil war and...anyway, if you're getting me a belated gift, do not -- I repeat, do not -- get me a gift card to this Richardson-based outfit. Catastrophuck.

Seems everybody's getting something cool for our blog's birthday. Hmm. The Cowboys got a new defensive coordinator, punter Mat McBriar got a big raise, Ron Springs got a new kidney, and Texas Rangers All-Star shortstop Michael Young got a new, well-deserved contract. Fittingly, Young's five-year, $80-million deal will be the second-largest in franchise history behind, you guessed it, the albatrossian -- we can make up new words on our own blog, right? -- 10-year, $252-million contract awarded to A-Fraud back in 2000. Unlike Rodriguez, Young has earned it. He plays hard. He plays great. He keeps his mouth shut. He keeps his image clean.

Jealous, me? Nah. For our birthday I'm just glad I'm getting another chance to improve on my very first item. Something about some dude named Vince Young being a failure or some such. --Richie Whitt

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Robert Wilonsky
Contact: Robert Wilonsky