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No, check that, the new PGA Superstore in Plano isn't just a teasing appetizer, it's downright orgasmic. If, that is, you get aroused milling around an old Home Depot warehouse filled with sports memorabilia, a gazillion Izods, two bajillion clubs, a tennis court, a putting green, a chipping area complete with sand trap and countless driving range stalls equipped with computer analysis, simulated courses and a daily $50 closest-to-the-pin contest. (Psssst, it reads 110 yards but plays no more than 106.) Spring has sprung. Grass is green. And, yup, two-downs, three-putts, snowmen, obscenities and tired, old impressions of Carl Spackler are in the air.

Some of us may have already peaked -- with a nice little 78 at this plush place two weeks ago, thank you very much -- but if you need anything to improve your game or at least a gadget to distract you from how seriously suck-ass you really are, this is the place. Like the sign says, "This is big." Out front there is a Hummer golf cart selling for a cool $12,435. Inside you can get autographed, framed photos of Tiger Woods, Payne Stewart and even Byron Nelson and Ben Hogan together at the '41 Masters. And there are enough woods to give any duffer wood. Bottom line: Pity these guys. --Richie Whitt

Keep the Dallas Observer Free... Since we started the Dallas Observer, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Dallas, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Dallas with no paywalls.

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Join the Observer community and help support independent local journalism in Dallas.


Join the Observer community and help support independent local journalism in Dallas.