Gatorade Gullibility

Late last night, while pretending to watch the Australian Open but in reality merely ogling this chick, someone from my past popped onto the screen. OK, it's the extremely recent past, but the irony of Bill Parcells' presence just made me want to forget him that much quicker.

Way back in training camp the former Dallas Cowboys coach (aaah, how good does that sound?) showed up wearing a "Who's All In?" T-shirt. And, as one of his last acts, Parcells filmed a Gatorade commercial, posing the question, "Do you have what it takes to pay the toll?"

Puh-leeze. As we now know, Parcells wasn't all in. And -- in a performance dripping with yellow-green irony -- it was Parcells who didn't have the stones to pay the toll. Seriously now, considering Parcells' decision to quit because he no longer had the energy/desire/devotion/fortitude, shouldn't someone at Gatorade think twice about continuing to air the ad? Best guess for pitch man in the campaign's next commercial? This guy. --Richie Whitt

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Robert Wilonsky
Contact: Robert Wilonsky