Okay, let's try something different. Something titillating.
Since Observer staff writers Merritt Martin and Megan Feldman almost never get in a cat fight that spills over into the mud-wrestling pit, they instead want to entertain us visually-stimulated, testosterone-saturated dorks with their own list.
Couple of months ago I gave you my ranking of the hottest female athletes ever. Now the girls want to weigh in on their favorite girls.
Objections? Didn't think so.
Ladies, mi casa es su casa ...
OK, so you get Richie on here all the time. Hell, you even get a little Merten sometimes and, last week, even an apperance by Schutze. But the ladies of the DO felt it was time to rep-ruh-ZENT!
And, really, what better way to show that we do watch sports (and even partake in them occasionally) than to give you a list of athletes we think are hot? Our preferred guys are coming later, but for now we're ogling the girls.
Now, this isn't totally superficial. These females are tough, talented and fine. Fine as in, "We want beautiful physiques like them," as opposed to, "Damn, how does she jump with those tig ol' bitties?!"
Let's proceed, in no particular order:
Allyson Felix (sprinter): The girl is fast. Cute, strong and confident. An excellent competitor to watch bust ass while we sit on our couch.
Mia Hamm (soccer): All-American, girl next door. Love that she did that Icy-Hot commercial with Shaq and the Gatorade "versus Michael Jordan" spot. Excellent ponytail.
Picabo Street (skiing): The two-time gold medalist has a great smile, managed to pull off that Spyder uni and didn't let snapping a femur keep her off the slopes.
Maria Sharapova (tennis): She's foxy and even if it's thanks to a crack ad team for Canon, the 3-time Grand Slam champ seems to have a good sense of humor. And a cute dog. Dolce!
Gabrielle Reece (volleyball): An actual model, actress, sports announcer and mom, aside from the spiking. Gotta love a multi-tasker.
Laura Wilkinson (diving): Form, grace and muscle.
Laila Ali (boxing): Respect for the hottie that can work out a TKO.
Michelle Kwan (ice skating): Nine U.S. championships, five world championships and two Olympic medals - and this skater known for beautiful on-ice artistry is just 28. Damn.
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Alicia Sacramone (gymnastics): Ivy League student with beautiful gymnastic form. Smart and talented is always attractive.
Missy Gibson (surfing): Totally gorgeous. Great style. Battles waves.