Update: We wussed out and used a random-number generator to choose a winner from the most creative responses. Your winner? Sarah:
My boss is crazy. My husband is crazy. My home is regularly festooned with dog diarrhea. I recently broke my iPhone and my pinkie toe. Unrelated, I fell down last week and bruised the length of my shins because I got overly ambitious and tried to walk while my foot was asleep. Like you do. Most importantly, I make fucking great fruit skewers.
We're contacting her now. If she bows out we'll re-select. Thanks for playing. Sorry if we got your hopes up. Go Rangers.
Someone's afternoon is about to improve considerably. The Observer's trio of tickets to today's 1:05 game against the future Oakland Athletics of Santa Clara County have gone unused, so we're giving them away here. They're in the second row, and they come with parking. That's the view up top. From the seats, not the parking spot.
The ground rules:
- You have to be able to go. If you accept these tickets and don't go I'm going to drive to Cooperstown, steal Josh's four-home run bat, break it over my knee and shiv you in the thigh with it.
- You've have be able to pick them up at Observer HQ, 2501 Oak Lawn, suite 700, by 1 p.m. If they're still there at 1 I'm going myself.
- Between now and 11:45 a.m., you have to leave a comment below explaining why you deserve the tickets over everyone else. We'll vote internally on the most creative answer at 11:45 sharp and contact the winner. Make sure your profile includes a real email address, Twitter handle or some other way to contact you.