I, the overbylined, hereby solemnly swear that Unfair Park ("The Blog") will not, under any circumstances, devolve into a sycophantic shadow booster for the long-shot congressional aspirations of Jason Roberts ("That One Biker Guy"), even in the event that one Robert Wilonsky ("Biker Guy's Cyber-Boyfriend") returns to the blog after realizing that his new employer keeps actual water in the water cooler.
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No, really, I swear. But come on: That's a slick poster.