Following Herb Kelleher's stand-up act in front of rhe House Committee on Transportation and Infrastructure a few days back, The Onion today serves up a "news" story that's so not funny I initially thought it was a news story: "Southwest Airlines Now Taking Passengers To Destinations By Shuttle Bus." And, yes, the only reason it's not high-larious is because travel via van is probably somewhere in the airline industry's future. (No doubt, all the folks stuck at Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport last week would agree.) The funniest line's the punch line, of course: "As of press time, Southwest's inaugural shuttle-bus trip, from Dallas to Phoenix, is reportedly stuck in a traffic jam on I-10, because some asshole rear-ended a minivan and won't move his car off the road." --Robert Wilonsky