Last Night, Air Sex Kept It Real And Raw. We Are Sorry About That.

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I lost my Air Sex virginity a long time ago in New York City, and the experience was so pleasurable I just can't stop coming back for more. I had a fab time judging the Air Sex Championships at Trees that were held back in August, and couldn't have been more pleased that Air Sex proprietor, sketch comic and rapper Chris Trew asked me back as a judge for last night's show.

Air Sexytime happened again at Trees, and I was joined at the judges' table by former Air Sex Champion Slut Truffle, Dallas Comedy House co-owner Clay Barton and world-class improviser Landon Kirksey. This time, though, the performers were more spontaneous, with multiple crowd members deciding at the last minute to air-hump in front of 50 strangers. That meant less in-depth storytelling set to music, and more holy-crap-that-is-what-that-person-looks-like-in-bed-meep!

There was the guy who imitated having a wet dream and "Lil' John," a break-dancer who basically moved from one hump-station to another, ending up in a full-on face-to-crotch grind atop the judges' table. And there was the long-haired, acrylic nail-wearing former stripper who did little more than mug for the audience, which is a big Air Sex no-no. Air Sex isn't about stripping. It's about creative air-screwing. And that is what the big (actually, the little!) winner "Lolita" brought to the stage.

"Lolita," an adorable, diminutive audience member who signed up at the last minute shone with her on-the-spot creativity. Her first performance, the one that sent her to the final round, put her in the middle of a kind of enthusiastic merry-go-round of man-parts. But the performance that won her the championship was a totally improvised bit wherein she sexed her invisible partner to death during the Backstreet Boys' classic "I Want It That Way" -- then gave him CPR and kept going. Brilliance and dedication.

Photographer Danny Fulgencio was present to capture all the magic. Check out his slide show.

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Join the Observer community and help support independent local journalism in Dallas.


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