Audio By Carbonatix
Mr. Trump, this is from me, an old middle class white guy watching from the sidelines here in Dallas. You said if they took the nomination away from you at the convention, “I think you’d have riots. I’m representing many, many millions of people.”
I’m looking at your people, Mr. Trump. I don’t see it.
In my life I have watched riots and covered them as a reporter. I don’t mean this as a criticism. It’s probably more a good thing, but I just don’t see rioting in your people’s future. Or in their past, for that matter.
I see a bunch of middle-aged to older suburban white-breads. No, listen to me: no insults here. Your people all look like me. I would probably get along great with them if we were to meet over a 6-pound plate of pasta at the Olive Garden.
I’m just saying I don’t see the Olive Garden crowd out in the street getting their heads clocked by the Cleveland cops. Maybe for about two seconds at the most, and then there would be a panicked retreat back to the Travelodge. Look, I’d beat them back there, so don’t take this like I’m challenging somebody’s manhood.
While we’re in the manhood area, we do need to talk, Mr. T. For your own good. You keep saying things like, “I’d like to punch him in the face.”
Listen, word to the wise here. It has fallen to my lot, because of my work, to be around a certain number of people who actually do punch people in the face. They never ever say they’d like to punch people in the face. I wish they would. It might give some warning. But they never do. They just punch people in the face.
Please. Everybody else is all angry at you about this. That’s not where I’m coming from at all. I’m more embarrassed.
Example: You say things like you’ll pay the legal fees for people who punch people in the face for you. Worse, when asked about it, you say, “I’ve actually instructed my people to look into it, yes.”
Mr. Trump, tough guys don’t have their “people look into it” for them. As a local reporter, I have spent more time than I ever wanted to in police stations and jails and courthouses listening to all manner of tough guys and tough women talk, and I have never heard a single one of them say, “I’ve actually instructed my people to look into it.”
Hey, maybe now I will. You’re a huge hit, Mr. T, you know that. Maybe you’ve started something. But now that we’re on the topic, I guess I have to mention something else that also seems embarrassing to me: We all saw you do that huge flinch on stage when you thought somebody was coming after you. I am not criticizing. I hate to think what kind of a flinch I might have done.
Here’s the thing: Ever since the big flinch, you’ve had all these guys standing around you on stage who look like young rich kids trying to look tough. It’s the optics of the thing, sir. You can’t do the big flinch, and then the next time we see you you’ve got all these young guys ringed around you trying to do their private-school mean-faces.
It all adds up, and this may be entirely unfair. I’m not even going to try to say it’s a true thing, just a very unfortunate combined impression. But the impression is that you’re sort of an older rich guy, maybe not in the most terrific shape physically (sorry), who probably hasn’t been in a real fight since … uh .. I’m thinking elementary school, right?
Without even being aware of it, not deliberately, just because of how you grew up and how you’ve lived your life, you talk about toughness and people getting beat up and things like that in a way that makes you sound less like a real tough guy than like a rich golfer with a drink in his hand. It’s like you’re sending the grounds crew over to deal with a homeless person.
“Sometimes we talk a little bit tough,” you said. “When I see somebody out swinging his fists, I say, ‘Get ’em the hell out of here.’ We’re a little rough.”
We’re a little rough? We’re a little rough? Please don’t say that in public again, sir. It’s very unconvincing. Worse, it could be misconstrued. I’m trying to think of a guy on the street coming up to me and telling me, “I’m a little rough.” My first thought would be he’s looking for a date.
Also, the tomato thing. You said, “If you get hit in the face with a tomato, let me tell you, with somebody with a strong arm, at least, let me tell you, it can be very damaging.”
For all I know, that could be true. I just never heard of it. Maybe there’s an amazing history of tomato injuries. But my impression is that you’ve brought this up a few times – the danger of tomatoes – and frankly it begins to sound less like a real thing than a phobia.
Tomatoes are weird, no question about it. People are all over the map on tomatoes. Some people love them. I also know people who can’t stand them. But that’s about eating them. Getting injured by a tomato, that’s sort of a new one on me.
