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Every day I get an e-mail from Daily Crime Report for my neighborhood, otherwise known as Northwest Division Sector 530. Here's the most recent one, which includes plenty of burglarized vehicles and homes, several aggravated assaults and acts of "criminal mischief," an "unexplained death" and this gem: "Unknown suspect tried to mail marijuana through UPS." Apparently, the suspect did not have this page among his bookmarks. --Robert Wilonsky