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Ready for the Dallas #Rainpocalypse?

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Yes, tomorrow would be the perfect time to put the finishing touches on that ark you've been building for this exact circumstance, because come Monday we will all be living the reality Kevin Costner so boldly hinted at in his magnum opus Waterworld.

Two inches of rain means, remembering that I am a professional weather blogger, that you will be unable to walk anywhere without a really sturdy set of waterproof stilts come Monday, and that if you live anywhere near a river you should start digging around the edges of your house and inserting inflatables. Does anyone make a house-sized life ring? Would a house be able to remain upright on such wobbly foundations while floating? What was actually the plot of Waterworld, beyond that there is now an excess of water?

At least we won't be in drought any more, when we're all quickly building underwater houses and holding our breath to loot scuba tanks from diving equipment stores. Suburban lawns will be permanently watered, but I'd imagine people will still leave their sprinklers running all day.

Keep the Dallas Observer Free... Since we started the Dallas Observer, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Dallas, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Dallas with no paywalls.

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Join the Observer community and help support independent local journalism in Dallas.

 

Join the Observer community and help support independent local journalism in Dallas.