| Sports |

Smuts Illustrated

Richie, we gotta tell you: This is one blog item we can't get behind. We've tried. Hiyo!

Prepare to be insulted. Because next month the world's most popular magazine edition hits newsstands, and the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue is a slap in the face to all sports fans. How's that, you say?

Follow me on this one: I love sports. I also have a healthy, often ravenous desire for the female form. But like church and state, ice cream and roast beef, Bill Parcells and the Dallas Cowboys, I consider -- prefer, actually -- them to be mutually exclusive. Yes, I likes me some Anna Kournikova. But in a sweat-stained tennis skirt at match point, not in a gauze bikini all Photoshopped and posing faux-seductively on some wooden pontoon in Sri Lanka.

The good news: There is a solution.

Memo to SI: We don't want, much less need, Rick Reilly to point us in the direction of a pretty girl any more than Lance Armstrong would appreciate a new bike equipped with training wheels. When we want porn we pretty much know where to find it, and the first place we look won't be a mainstream magazine. (Right, Robert? Ed. note: "Sure, Richie, whatever you say." Bible Girl?)

At the risk of becoming the subject of a "Gay or Not Gay" segment on KTCK-AM's (1310, The Ticket) "BaD Radio," this year I'm canceling my swimsuit issue. You can, too, simply by turning to page 12 of a recent issue (like the one with Jeff Garcia on the cover) and finding the gray box at the bottom titled "If You Don't Want the Swimsuit Issue." Call 1-866-228-1175 and make a stand for sports over smut.

According to CNN, last year's issue sold 5 million copies but was seen by 60 million, making it the planet's most exposed exposure.

If we keep allowing sex to infiltrate our sports, next thing you know ESPN will have Andrea Kramer provide her sappy sideline soliloquies whilst topless. That's 1-866-228-1175. --Richie Whitt

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