The Rangers are Sending a Pitcher to the Mound Tonight. Duck!

Come for the offense. Stay for the fireworks. Leave when the pitching commences.

The Texas Rangers’ offense is stunning.

Josh Hamilton leads the planet in everything, will likely be an All-Star starter and is the American League’s first player to win consecutive Player of the Month awards to start a season. Milton Bradley has been anything but Milton Badly, hitting .317 with 16 doubles and zero controversies. Michael Young has an 18-game hitting streak; Ian Kinsler’s has reached 17. Even David Murphy can hit.

Somehow, the Rangers enter tonight’s game against the Cleveland Indians under .500.

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before.

Smoke and mirrors and one helluva managerial job by Ron Washington be damned, the Rangers aren’t going anywhere if their pitching continues to suck. And by suck, I mean 26 runs allowed the last two days out in Arlington. Ouch.

Though surprising, this season feels like a lot of the ones from the past: lots of homers and fireworks and runs at Rangers Ballpark, all negated by an ERA rising to uncomfortable extremes along with summer temperatures. The Rangers’ staff is last in runs allowed and hits allowed and – oh, screw it – last in pitching.

Tonight’s starter is emergency fill-in A.J. Murray. Gentlemen, lubricate your abacuses.

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