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The Worst Thing Ever Seen at a Texas Rangers Game, Ever

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Thursday night's Rangers-Angels game was the final game of one of the more entertaining series in recent memory at the Ballpark in Arlington. The series finale featured Josh Hamilton's second two-run homer in as many nights and Brandon Boggs nailing Torii Hunter at home plate with Max Ramirez holding on after another big collision. (Incidentally, The New York Times this morning uncovers Hamilton and Milton Bradley's conjoined nicknames: The Risk Brothers.)

But perhaps the most excitement was during the Rangers' rally in the bottom of the seventh inning, when Texas -- led by rookies Chris Davis, Brandon Boggs and Max Ramirez -- scored four runs to tie the game at 10. The crowd was going nuts, and Fox Sports field reporter Jim Knox spotted a group of shirtless guys with "TEXAS" spelled out on their chests. Right before the top of the eight inning, play-by-play announcer Josh Lewin threw it to Knox for his usual interview with rabid Rangers fans. And then something happened that will scar me for life.

The video I posted to the YouTubes yesterday is after the jump.

And, turns out, it's starting to make the virtual rounds. But imagine seeing this live, without any warning whatsoever. I was out of it for most of the day Friday.

"How do you feel now?" Knox asked the fan with a painted "E" on his chest.

"It's amazing."

"X [referring to the fan with an 'X' on his chest] also promised his guys something during the game, and what was that, X?" Knox asked a fan with a huge gut that looks like an ass.

Then the guy wearing "T" spanked his friend's ass-gut a few times. So disturbing.

"I promised them if we came back and won this game," X said, "I would come to the next in a Speedo!"

X jumped up and down, his ass-gut shaking while "E" grabbed on for the ride. Even more disturbing.

"Are we rooting for a comeback win here or not, huh, guys, huh?" Knox asked.

X again got his ass-gut bouncing. Now I'm ready to vomit.

"We were," Lewin said.

Far as I'm concerned, the Speedo threat gave the Rangers bad mojo, which led to the crushing 11-10 loss.

The question left unanswered is where would he have worn the Speedo, on his ass-gut or his back ass? Discuss.

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