Note to Tom Hicks, surely a reader of blogs: Really, it's totally fine. You could have stayed in England today, for Liverpool FC's Champions League match against Arsenal. No need to rush home for the Texas Rangers' 1:05 p.m. first-pitch home-opener against the Baltimore Orioles. Sure, it's nice of you to return for Eric Nadel's ceremonial first pitch; man deserves a medal after calling Rangers games since Carter was president. But just remember in the future: Anfield, not Arlington. Or maybe you just wanted to get stuck in traffic like all the other suckers.
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But we see you're sending Tom Hicks Jr. to the game tonight in your place. Which seems awfully mean, considering last time he visited Anfield in your stead he nearly got his ass kicked back to Dallas. Then again, says here George Gillett will attend the match -- maybe his last, since you've been scrounging around London for the cash to buy him out. Probably best to separate you two anyway, since Gillett doesn't much like you anyway. At least he won't have to contend with a hazardous weather outlook. Serves you right. Shoulda stayed in England, Tom Hicks. --Robert Wilonsky