Football-wise, it seems obvious by now that the Cowboys defense is destined to be so incredibly bad, they could use all the help they can get. By this point, you and I are viable candidates for the Cowboys defense, let alone Michael Sam, a man who, physical pending, will arrive on the Cowboys' practice squad with more preseason sacks and tackles than any defensive lineman already in Valley Ranch.
Still, if there's one place people with "outspoken" opinions love to gather, it's surely Twitter (or possibly the Morning News' comment section), and so, after the longest browse of Twitter we could stomach, we present you to some really tragic attempts at humor, along with some general confusion at the idea someone might be gay like Sam is. It should be said that these were scattered among a lot of balanced opinions, but still.
#Cowboys gonna give credence to being called Faggots all these years. I love it.
— JustThaFactz (@JustThaFactz) September 2, 2014
THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE.
— Nathan Allen (@NathanRyanAllen) September 2, 2014
You can tell this man will give a balanced and fair opinion from his Twitter picture.
Well Romo isn't the only homo on the cowboys. #MichaelSam
— Ian Havran (@THEianhavran) September 2, 2014
Words that rhyme do not necessarily share the same properties. This is a verifiable fact.
— MiguelAngelMaravilla (@MigMaravilla) September 2, 2014
Ah, the old "my hilarious homophobic friends said it LOL!" defense.
Anyone surprised that #MichaelSam decided to sign with "Big D"???
— milz (@johnmilz44) September 2, 2014
Yes. Lots of people. That's why Twitter was.... WAIT. I GET IT. It was bad.
— Annonymously Awesome (@Incognito8806) September 2, 2014
You can tell this person's edgy because they have an anonymous mask and seem to think they're trolling, but they've been somewhat let down by the Village People reference, which isn't quite cutting edge enough for 4Chan.
— Brian Junior Coffman (@BrianJCoffman) September 2, 2014
I feel like this person has misunderstood the word "couldn't," so their entire premise is faulty.
I guess dallas really is full of steers and queers. #MichaelSam
— Doug E. Fresh (@SomthinCanadian) September 2, 2014
YOU'RE NOT THE REAL DOUG E. FRESH
— Ivan Colina (@Ivan_Colina) September 2, 2014
Goddammit. Back to rhyming? Really?
— Riyad Deeb (@Powerbarz22) September 2, 2014
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Is... is this what you think happens when gay people are employed?
They shoulda just kept Michael Sam and promoted him to offensive dick sucker
— Cameron Angelle (@tcattttt) September 3, 2014
I must have missed that position in my fantasy draft. I'll have to go back now.