Temple Smith was a farsighted man. In 1913, the president of Fredericksburg's first bank had sense enough to help finance the construction of a rail line between Fredericksburg and Comfort. A small town, Bankersmith, was settled there, but Smith saw beyond the relative boom that brought a post office, lumberyard, and dance hall.
Smith saw past even the town's decline into virtual nonexistence during and after the Great Depression. Yes, Smith no doubt was looking toward the day when the town that bears his name would be purchased by a breastaurant chain, have its name changed to Bikinis, Texas, and be transformed into a getaway for frisky, middle-aged men who have apparently never heard of a strip club.
That day has come. Austin breastaurateur Doug Guller announced today that his company, ATX Brands, LLC, had purchased the town after he spotted it recently on Craig's list and "will change the name to Bikinis, Texas after his successful breastaurant franchise," according to a press release.
"Bikinis, TX will be a world class destination and I am thrilled to expand the Bikinis brand to include town ownership," the release quotes him as saying. "There can't be a better way to put Bikinis on the map...Literally."
Let's hope his party destination is better than his puns.
The website has few details about how, specifically, Guller plans to make the mostly uninhabited stretch of Hill Country "world class," but it's guaranteed to include youngish, large-chested women in undersized swimwear. And Bankersmith/Bikinis is unincorporated land, so there will be no need to settle whether it should have a strong mayor or city manager form of government or haggle over zoning restrictions. Instead there will be just one overgrown adolescent with too much money and too many willing charges.
Keep the Dallas Observer Free... Since we started the Dallas Observer, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Dallas, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Dallas with no paywalls.