You Know Who Could Use Some Baseball? The Stinkin' Texas Rangers.

Because Richie won't say it, we will: Tom Hicks, fire Jon Daniels. Then sell the team to a real owner. Come back, Bobby Valentine, all is forgiven.

Tony Romo’s earned a new squeeze (insert joke about the end of his ball-bobbling days). And, in news just as unremarkable, the Rangers are, well, the Rangers -- which is to say, done. Cooked. Adios, beisbol.

Manager Ron Washington has indeed changed the culture, but he hasn’t done diddly-squat to the results. After losing three of four to the Angels over the weekend, the skip called a team meeting Tuesday. Ta-da! The Rangers promptly went out and lost to the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. With the Stars, Mavericks and Cowboys all sitting idly, giving them the solo summer sports spotlight, the Rangers have responded with the American League’s second-highest ERA, second-lowest batting average and, you guessed it, second-worst record. Take that, Kansas City Royals!

The Rangers have lost six of eight, are a season-worst nine games under .500 and aren’t even playing well enough to tease us, getting outscored 69-21 in the first two innings. It’s so bad that the Rangers are actually taking moral victories out of losses to Tampa Bay.

Bored out of my brain, I turned on KRLD-AM's (1080) radio broadcast last night and was treated to announcers Eric Nadel and Victor Rojas -- I’m not making this up -- spending the entire top of the sixth inning trying to guess the height of the outfield walls in Lake Buena Vista, Fla. Guess they’d already counted the crowd, which was a paltry 8,443 -- second-lowest in baseball this season and a couple hundred fewer than the line for Mickey Mouse’s autograph.

Fitting, because is there a really a less compelling matchup in all of sports than Rangers-Rays? First pitch tonight is at...oh, who really cares? --Richie Whitt

KEEP THE DALLAS OBSERVER FREE... Since we started the Dallas Observer, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Dallas, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Robert Wilonsky
Contact: Robert Wilonsky